Rantings

It's half past eleven and I just got home. After complaining to a few people I'm really not all that close with and almost having a breakdown, I thought it would be a good idea to rant in a posting. If I'm subjecting good hearted people to my negativity all for having the kindness to ask how I am doing, then perhaps I need a new outlet, and what better than a blog....

So, the main reason I haven't posted anything recently is because things have been insanely busy after returning from my winter holidays trip down south. Before leaving, I had reviewed my projected plans and schedule with M&D and due to a last minute field escursion, which was executed extremely well, my goals were pushed back a week and a half. However, I headed south and left work, for the most part, behind... and let me tell you, it was a wonderful thing [see The holidaze, reflected post]. Before returning to North Carolina, I received a email containing the first chapter of my thesis and what looked like a the butchering of a small mammal. After having the paper, which is only 16 pages of text, for a lengthy 2 months, my coadvisor returns it, blungened and beaten.

Thanks to limited internet access [there were only a few internet cafes in town... I never thought I would be so happy to NOT have internet] I was not able to work on the edits. After returning from the blissful holiday, I've been working on the numerous edits and have finally, with the exception of one reference check, am finished. However, this is at the expense of accomplishing the tasks I had laid out prior to the holiday. Therefore, this week I have begun to tackle to goals that are now a MONTH overdue and am uncertain if I will be able to graduate on time. In reality I know I will not be able to graduate this semester... and it is really bothering me.

I feel like it is my fault and it makes me so angry with myself. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to do this summer. Do I look for a job? Do I ask for summer funding? If I get a job and move away, will I ever graduate? Do I want to spend another summer in North Carolina? All questions I cannot answer.

So, I eat a bagel
drink a beer
wait for my mind to settle
and the answers to appear...