After having a surprisingly wonderful holiday visit with family and freinds, I find myself unsataibly satisfied with my life. While others seem to see a happy, successful young woman, I see an adult child who is unsuccessfully grappling with every day. To be reminded of the abundant fruitful connections I once had and nutured over many years was a blessing and has now become a burden.
Upon returning to North Carolina,the positive reconnections and meaningful conversations were thought to be motivating... to energize me for the last sprint of what has been a drawn-out unfullfilling experience....essentially what I have been lacking. However, the positiveness is thinning and a deeper despair to emerging.
Granted, I am overwhelmingly happy that I was able to reconnect with people once a much larger part of my life... I just wish it would thrive within and through me. Instead, it feels like a well that was filled and is now being drained to its few last drops.
... somehow I need to find a way to maintain, to keep it full....
No comments:
Post a Comment