I feel drawn to my blog today, as if there is something I want to express. Yet, every time I come.... there is nothing to be said. It is as though there is something trying to get out, it just is not quite ready, like a small child looking into a swimming pool who wants to jump in, but just cannot make himself do it. I do not know where the restraint comes from or what it is that is trying to be released, but I feel as though I am waiting for for someone to open the dam and let the water run free. Perhaps it is I who will trigger the release, just not now.

Maybe it is part of what is to come this summer. I have been feeling as though something good is going to happen. I do not know if this because I desperately need the positiveness in my life or because something truely grand is going to occur. Maybe it is a desperate attempt to turn my hopes into reality because I cannot handle anymore sh*t, but I would like to think more of the later in that I am anticipating what has yet to occur.

Regardless, what is, is and what will be, will be. More than anything I hope that I make choices I will not later regret, cause as little pain and disruption on others as possible, become closer to those I care about, who feel so far away, and am open to all that is to come without a bittered perspective from unrelated baggage.