While biking

Tired and physically drained from not getting enough sleep the night before, I trudged up the 5th Street hill on the north side of campus. Warm, smooth, creamy latte in possession, and almost out of breathe, I looked to the right at the Liberal Arts building as if I was seeing it for the first time. Then, my thoughts quickly changed to the moment I had seen taken in the interesting view for the first time. It seems like ages ago but was not. When I had come up to interview for the grad position, I later accepted, it was one of the few buildings I remembered in the blur of the visit. The air was crisp and cold, and we took a few pictures before heading back south.

This led me to think of how I have been here 4 months now, and it still feels new and foreign. This is not a bad feeling, it's just that it makes me wonder if I will ever feel apart of this place. My home is here, in my humble abode and that feels familiar and I thought I would finally have a 'home', a place I have not felt in a long time. Yet, it makes me wonder..... if that will ever happen.

Sometimes I think I may be afraid. It seems that which we yearn for, we are also scared of. However, I think this is different, but at the same time, I do not feel I will ever have that same feeling. Maybe 'home' is simply a concept that does not exist as I have imagined?