How quickly someone can become such a significant part of our lives, and how just as quickly they can disappear from it. I always try to be open to new experiences and interactions with people, but still I have a hard time moving through this time. The awkward time, where you are trying to get your bearings and find the ground under your feet... like the slack line that is created when tension on a rope seizes. You have to prepare and brace yourself, for when the tension returns, it can throw you, if you are not ready. However, I find it hard to ground myself after such experiences. I feel deflated, as though I expanded myself to include another and now that they are not there anymore, that part of me sinks, like a deflated balloon. Perhaps over time the elasticity will increase, otherwise the only way to not get to this point is to not make a space for others. But that just seems wrong... to not let others in? That is one of the few things that make life worth living to me... becoming apart of other people's lives... occupying a small fraction of their world and vica versa.
It just hurts when they choose not to participate anymore.
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