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Thursday, November 27, 2008

2nd Annual Friend's Seafood Thanksgiving





A full table, full stomachs, and a kitchen full of dirty dishes. What more does one want on the biggest poultry eating holiday of the year? How about a late Thanksgiving Eve trip to the local seafood market for get crab cakes and stuffed clams to go with the creamed corn hush puppies.... oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about.

Ah, I'm already looking forward to next year.....

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Even Albert agrees

If I would be a young man again and had to decide how to make my living, I would not try to become a scientist or scholar or teacher. I would rather choose to be a plumber or a peddler in the hope to find that modest degree of independence still available under present circumstances.

~Albert Einstein

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Sometimes falling in love is as much an act of criticism as criticism is an act of love.

~William Logan

A line or circle?

Who'da thunk it?

After reading Schwartz's essay [below] a light shined over the previous numerous years and I realized... I don't want to feel stupid ANYMORE! That said... perhaps a career change is in order.

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The importance of stupidity in scientific research


"I recently saw an old friend for the first time in many years. We had been Ph.D. students at the same time, both studying science, although in different areas. She later dropped out of graduate school, went to Harvard Law School and is now a senior lawyer for a major environmental organization. At some point, the conversation turned to why she had left graduate school. To my utter astonishment, she said it was because it made her feel stupid. After a couple of years of feeling stupid every day, she was ready to do something else.

I had thought of her as one of the brightest people I knew and her subsequent career supports that view. What she said bothered me. I kept thinking about it; sometime the next day, it hit me. Science makes me feel stupid too. It’s just that I’ve gotten used to it. So used to it, in fact, that I actively seek out new opportunities to feel
stupid. I wouldn’t know what to do without that feeling. I even think it’s supposed to be this way. Let me explain.

For almost all of us, one of the reasons that we liked science in high school and college is that we were good at it. That can’t be the only reason – fascination with understanding the physical world and an emotional need to discover new things has to enter into it too. But high-school and college science means taking courses, and
doing well in courses means getting the right answers on tests. If you know those answers, you do well and get to feel smart.

A Ph.D., in which you have to do a research project, is a whole different thing. For me, it was a daunting task. How could I possibly frame the questions that would lead to significant discoveries; design and interpret an experiment so that the conclusions were absolutely convincing; foresee difficulties and see ways around them, or, failing that, solve them when they occurred? My Ph.D. project was somewhat interdisciplinary and, for a while, whenever I ran into a problem, I pestered the faculty in my department who were experts in the various disciplines that I needed. I remember the day when Henry Taube (who won the Nobel Prize two years later) told me
he didn’t know how to solve the problem I was having in his area. I was a third-year graduate student and I figured that Taube knew about 1000 times more than I did (conservative estimate). If he didn’t have the answer, nobody did.

That’s when it hit me: nobody did. That’s why it was a research problem. And being my research problem, it was up to me to solve. Once I faced that fact, I solved the problem in a couple of days. (It wasn’t really very hard; I just had to try a few things.) The crucial lesson was that the scope of things I didn’t know wasn’t merely vast; it was, for all practical purposes, infinite. That realization, instead of
being discouraging, was liberating. If our ignorance is infinite, the only possible course of action is to muddle through as best we can.

I’d like to suggest that our Ph.D. programs often do students a disservice in two ways. First, I don’t think students are made to understand how hard it is to do research. And how very, very hard it is to do important research. It’s a lot harder than taking even very demanding courses. What makes it difficult is that research is
immersion in the unknown. We just don’t know what we’re doing. We can’t be sure whether we’re asking the right question or doing the right experiment until we get the answer or the result. Admittedly, science is made harder by competition for grants and space in top journals. But apart from all of that, doing significant
research is intrinsically hard and changing departmental, institutional or national policies will not succeed in lessening its intrinsic difficulty.

Second, we don’t do a good enough job of teaching our students how to be productively stupid – that is, if we don’t feel stupid it means we’re not really trying. I’m not talking about ‘relative stupidity’, in which the other students in the class actually read the material, think about it and ace the exam, whereas you don’t. I’m also not talking about bright people who might be working in areas that don’t match their talents. Science involves confronting our ‘absolute stupidity’. That kind of stupidity is an existential fact, inherent in our efforts to push our way into the unknown. Preliminary and thesis exams have the right idea when the faculty
committee pushes until the student starts getting the answers wrong or gives up and says, ‘I don’t know’. The point of the exam isn’t to see if the student gets all the answers right. If they do, it’s the faculty who failed the exam. The point is to identify the student’s weaknesses, partly to see where they need to invest some effort
and partly to see whether the student’s knowledge fails at a sufficiently high level that they are ready to take on a research project.

Productive stupidity means being ignorant by choice. Focusing on important questions puts us in the awkward position of being ignorant. One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time. No doubt, this can be difficult for students who are accustomed to getting the answers right. No doubt, reasonable levels of confidence and emotional resilience help, but I think scientific education might do more to ease what is a very big transition: from learning what other people once discovered to making your own discoveries. The more comfortable we become with being stupid, the deeper we will wade into the unknown and the more likely we are to make big discoveries."*

*Schwartz, M. A. 2008. The importance of stupidity in scientific research. Journal of Cell Science 121:1771

Participation required

How quickly someone can become such a significant part of our lives, and how just as quickly they can disappear from it. I always try to be open to new experiences and interactions with people, but still I have a hard time moving through this time. The awkward time, where you are trying to get your bearings and find the ground under your feet... like the slack line that is created when tension on a rope seizes. You have to prepare and brace yourself, for when the tension returns, it can throw you, if you are not ready. However, I find it hard to ground myself after such experiences. I feel deflated, as though I expanded myself to include another and now that they are not there anymore, that part of me sinks, like a deflated balloon. Perhaps over time the elasticity will increase, otherwise the only way to not get to this point is to not make a space for others. But that just seems wrong... to not let others in? That is one of the few things that make life worth living to me... becoming apart of other people's lives... occupying a small fraction of their world and vica versa.

It just hurts when they choose not to participate anymore.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Today is a good day

We see the world through our own two eyes
a personal view
subjective
some don't realize.

When the weighted pain
and hurtful acts
are gone
one questions,
Will a sequel come?

For the cycles of life
and ruts yet unfilled
keep repeating the actions
that can make one ill.

Yet each day
we live and learn
a new experience embraced.
As the sun rises and sets
our love's spread through its rays.