Blah.......

Sitting in my office looking out at the sun glistening off the water, wishing I could turn time back... back to the 4th of July, where the air AND water were warm, sweat poured as fluid as the beer, music was in the air, as well as good conversations from good company. It was a good weekend.

As of late, I feel like the world [at least the US] is crumbling around me. NPR has turned into a negative nancy with little positive information. Generally my preferential choice of media, the recent catastrophic events leave me with a sour outlook. Waking to that every morning is a sure way to keep the suicide hotlines and the antidepressant corporations in business.

Coincidentally, as the world around me is falling apart, so to is my personal world. Or should I say my personal world is giving way to the world around me. Through all I have endured over my short 20 something stink thus far, I seem to cower when faced with the pressures of benefit plans, retirement options, and other what seem like monumental money missions that I have yet been briefed on.

While dealing with these monetary muddlings, I am also trying to keep a logical and emotional balanced perspective in a new relationship. Something that should not be difficult for a well-adjusted person. Unfortunately, that is not me and the current battle is can and when to trust that another isn't going to pull away and disappear. Sometimes is seems better to just keep them outside, to not let them in.... and I question, is it worth it? The voice inside my head says yes, but my heart stays silent.

As I listen to Tristan Prettyman's You Got Me.... I hope my heart will speak up......