Sitting here I feel like a visitor, in my own body and my life. I look down and see my hands typing on the keyboard, yet it seems foreign.... everything seems foreign. People feel so distant although they are an arm's length away and my soul feels like it is barely tethered to my body, preferring to be elsewhere. When I am here and present I feel a suffocating sadness that is unconsolable. Why? The answer I do not know, but it causes self-punishing lethargic actions, facilitating the cycle.