Wednesday, October 31, 2007
It's the classic story. Girl meet boy. Girl likes boy. Girl and boy date. Boy becomes distanced with work. Girl and boy decide to 'just be friends'. Typical story that happens to millions. Girl walks away with bruised feelings, but is thankful for the opportunity to get to know and meet someone she now cares for.
All well and good, right? Except when followed by the following typical story.... Girl wakes to phone ringing at 4:30 a.m. Boy's been shot. As her breath leaves her body, she can't believe what she's hearing... is this a sick joke? After feverishly ringing the hospital, which offers no information, she wonders if she should even go. Does he even want to see her? It's been a week since they 'talked' and though hours before 'the incident' they ran into eachother at an art show and interacted fine, she is unsure of her role. Where does she fit into the situation? She goes to the hospital anyway, "what do I have to loose?", she asks herself. After wondering around the hospital, trying to find information about the boy, she becomes more and more upset. As her feelings for him become stronger, she realized how much she cares for him.
The following tumultuous days were filled with overwhelming emotion about the boy while a conference deadline quickly approached. She miraculously was able to work through tears rising and falling from her eyes throughout the day as all she wanted to do was be with the boy and help him recover. In the short daily visits she was able to work into her schedule, the important conference became more of an inconvenient obligation. After a mere five days in the hospital, the boy was sent home, two and a half hours away. Happy for the boys quick recovery, but sad to not be able to see him, she rings him to see how his recovery is going. She hears back from him a few days later.
He is thankful for her visits to the hospital, is planning on returning to school in a week. She will be out of town at that time and the conversation ends with the boy saying he'll ring her later on. Filled with unexpressed emotions, the girl leaves for her conference, which is followed by a short holiday, all the while distracted by thoughts of the boy. In places new to her, she is reminded of him and wakes up from a dream about him... all the while trying to move beyond her feelings and what has occurred.
After returning from her trip and not having heard from the boy, the girl is informed he is dating someone. How quickly one is able to move on... especially when he did not want to be in a "relationship" with anyone, or so he told her. The untruthfulness of what has occurred hurts and angers the girl, allowing her to walk away, yet question why she let herself be disrespected.
All well and good, right? Except when followed by the following typical story.... Girl wakes to phone ringing at 4:30 a.m. Boy's been shot. As her breath leaves her body, she can't believe what she's hearing... is this a sick joke? After feverishly ringing the hospital, which offers no information, she wonders if she should even go. Does he even want to see her? It's been a week since they 'talked' and though hours before 'the incident' they ran into eachother at an art show and interacted fine, she is unsure of her role. Where does she fit into the situation? She goes to the hospital anyway, "what do I have to loose?", she asks herself. After wondering around the hospital, trying to find information about the boy, she becomes more and more upset. As her feelings for him become stronger, she realized how much she cares for him.
The following tumultuous days were filled with overwhelming emotion about the boy while a conference deadline quickly approached. She miraculously was able to work through tears rising and falling from her eyes throughout the day as all she wanted to do was be with the boy and help him recover. In the short daily visits she was able to work into her schedule, the important conference became more of an inconvenient obligation. After a mere five days in the hospital, the boy was sent home, two and a half hours away. Happy for the boys quick recovery, but sad to not be able to see him, she rings him to see how his recovery is going. She hears back from him a few days later.
He is thankful for her visits to the hospital, is planning on returning to school in a week. She will be out of town at that time and the conversation ends with the boy saying he'll ring her later on. Filled with unexpressed emotions, the girl leaves for her conference, which is followed by a short holiday, all the while distracted by thoughts of the boy. In places new to her, she is reminded of him and wakes up from a dream about him... all the while trying to move beyond her feelings and what has occurred.
After returning from her trip and not having heard from the boy, the girl is informed he is dating someone. How quickly one is able to move on... especially when he did not want to be in a "relationship" with anyone, or so he told her. The untruthfulness of what has occurred hurts and angers the girl, allowing her to walk away, yet question why she let herself be disrespected.
Why is one who is so conscious of hurting others so susceptible to being hurt?
Monday, October 08, 2007
He speaks....
Yesterday, I went to see David Sedaris speak in Norfolk, Virginia. Surprisingly, even though he spent a large portion of his childhood in North Carolina, the closest venue to hear the comical short story writer speak was two and a half hours away. So, a friend and I decided to make a day of it and satiate our unrelenting yearnings to get out of Greenville and visit someplace different. Having only spent a brief time in Virginia, consisting of the short drive throughs on my way to another state, I thought it would be enjoyable to see what coastal Virgina has to offer. At 8 a.m. Sunday morning we hitched our bikes to the back of my friends little white sedan and headed north through a series of long curvy country roads. Upon arrival, and with no real plan, we did what college student does when first arriving in a new place... found a quaint little coffee shop and settled into the events of the day.
After hours of riding around the city, a tour around a gigantic sailing boat in the process of sailing around the world from Argentina, and a visit to Virginia Beach, we were entertained by Sedaris' reading of some of his essays. With four books in print, we were unsure what the content of his readings would be. However, after listening to some new essays and the reading of one from his books, we left the theatre with sore stomach and tear eyed, laughing so hard we cried. We grabbed a super scrumptious veggie patty sub from subway, not available in good ole Greenville, and settled back into the little white sedan. As the odometer turned over 200,000 miles, we headed south bracing ourselves for the Monday that lied in wait for us in good ole Greenville.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
In need of a break from the monotonousness of work, I decided to treat myself to a movie, albeit a matinee to lessen the impact on my wallet. So, I left work a bit early to head over to the cinema to see Feast of Love. Yes, a girlie flick if there ever was one, but with my recent strike out while up at bat at the game of dating I thought I could use it.... and I am very happy I went. One of the main messages that rang in my ears after the film ended was the concept of being with someone that cares for you as much as you care for them. As with my recent escapade this is an imbalanced component that seems to thrive in my relationships, romantic and otherwise.
Being aware and open to other's and their feelings is something that comes easily to me, and being one that likes to please others, this gift is highly utilized. However, I've painfully found that others do not commonly posses such perception and the result has been a continuous string of painful circumstances. So, what am I going to do now?
I don't know.
It seems the only thing left to do is wake up yet again tomorrow and make my way through the day, cherishing the fleeting often not present interactions with others. I mean it boils down to this, I want to be loved, like every other conscious living thing in the universe. This does not necessarily mean I want a lover or a partner, truthfully, what I miss the most are the close friends I once had. Now there is so much hurt clouding everything, suffocating simple conversations, to the point where I don't know how to or if I want to try.
I wonder, if like Chloe in the movie, I would have gone through with certain relationships, had I known their demise. At this point, questioning the benefit of it all, I can't say that I would have forged ahead.
Being aware and open to other's and their feelings is something that comes easily to me, and being one that likes to please others, this gift is highly utilized. However, I've painfully found that others do not commonly posses such perception and the result has been a continuous string of painful circumstances. So, what am I going to do now?
I don't know.
It seems the only thing left to do is wake up yet again tomorrow and make my way through the day, cherishing the fleeting often not present interactions with others. I mean it boils down to this, I want to be loved, like every other conscious living thing in the universe. This does not necessarily mean I want a lover or a partner, truthfully, what I miss the most are the close friends I once had. Now there is so much hurt clouding everything, suffocating simple conversations, to the point where I don't know how to or if I want to try.
I wonder, if like Chloe in the movie, I would have gone through with certain relationships, had I known their demise. At this point, questioning the benefit of it all, I can't say that I would have forged ahead.
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