Getting older is something I try not to think about. It is something I'm not comfortable with. Acceptance of the deterioration and inhibition that accompanies increasing age... watching yourself become limited physically and or mentally, it just doesn't sit well with me. I have never felt comfortable with the concept.

During a counseling session with many years ago, the counselor commented on how I would be very prepared in dealing with old age because of my previous experience of being limited both physically and mentally, but it was quite the opposite. That time in my like was horrible and I would never never wish that one anyone. Dealing with something you have no control over and knowing at one time it was not like that,is a mind f*ck.

Birthdays have always been more of a depressing event than anything else. 2 years ago, I decided to celebrate my birthday for the first time, and had a nice time. Last year, it wasn't the best but a friends parents' made it one the nicest evenings, at least until someone else interrupted.

So this year, I'm going to be far away and prolly alone and I think that will just fine. I think I'll go camping and enjoy from where I have come and focus on where I would like to go.

Unfortunately, time does not slow down, let alone stop. So I suppose it's up to us to make the best of it. As with this transition, it's just a matter of sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying the ride. I just wish the seats were a little more comfy.