Well. For those of you who are interested in Garden State, one of the best movies made in 2004, it's being released on DVD on December 28th. I'm very excited! I restrained myself from only seeing the film in the theatres twice.... though I would have liked to have gone more.... I wanted to save my pennies, so that I would be able to purchase the film once it was released. You can pre-order the DVD @ http://www2.foxstore.com/detail.html?item=1341 Though I have not pre-ordered it, I do intend on buying a copy once I return, funds permitting.
Additionally, if you enjoyed the film and don't know about it, Zach Braff has a blog, which he updates regularly. You can check it out at http://gardenstate.typepad.com/ He's very talented and I look forward to what he is going to produce. There seem to be a handful of new young artists in film.....
Richard Kelly, the writer and director of Donnie Darko, is finishing a film called Southland Tales, which he wrote and directed as well. I look forward to seeing the new film, as I enjoyed Donnie Darko.... though there are some things I'm sure I have yet to comprehend. I am quite impressed with the film, considering Richard Kelly is only only 29 years of age... and hasn't done a lot of films..... can' wait for what's to come.
Another movie out on DVD is Napoleon Dynamite. I have not yet seen this highly talked about comedy, but look forward to renting it soon. Supposedly, it is quite hilarious and enjoyed by it's watchers many times over. So, if you are in the mood for a good laugh, check it out... and let me know what you think.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
mY nAmE Is sAm
For anyone who loves animals, please read the story below... and those who don't care, you should!
-------------------------------
After I was discharged from the Navy, Jim and I moved back to Detroit to use our GI bill benefits to get some schooling. Jim was going for a degree in Electronics and I, after much debating, decided to get mine in Computer Science.
One of the classes that was a requirement was Speech. Like many people, I had no fondness for getting up in front of people for any reason, let alone to be the center of attention as I stuttered my way through some unfamiliar subject. But I couldn't get out of the requirement, and so I found myself in my last semester before graduation with Speech as one of my classes. On the first day of class our professor explained to us that he was going to leave the subject matter of our talks up to us, but he was going to provide the motivation of the speech. We would be responsible for six speeches, each with a different motivation. For instance our first speech's purpose was to inform. He advised us to pick subjects that we were interested in and knowledgeable about. I decided to center my six speeches around animals, especially dogs.
For my first speech to inform, I talked about the equestrian art of dressage. For my speech to demonstrate, I brought my German Shepherd, Bodger, to class and demonstrated obedience commands. Finally the semester was almost over and I had but one more speech to give. This speech was to take the place of a written final exam and was to count for fifty per cent of our grade. The speeches motivation was to persuade.
After agonizing over a subject matter, and keeping with my animal theme, I decided on the topic of spaying and neutering pets. My goal was to try to persuade my classmates to neuter their pets. So I started researching the topic. There was plenty of material, articles that told of the millions of dogs and cats that were euthanized every year, of supposedly beloved pets that were turned in to various animal control facilities for the lamest of reasons, or worse, dropped off far from home, bewildered and scared. Death was usually a blessing.
The final speech was looming closer, but I felt well prepared. My notes were full of facts and statistics that I felt sure would motivate even the most naive of pet owners to succumb to my plea.
A couple of days before our speeches were due, I had the bright idea of going to the local branch of the Humane Society and borrowing a puppy to use as a sort of a visual aid. I called the Humane Society and explained what I wanted. They were very happy to accommodate me. I made arrangements to pick up a puppy the day before my speech.
The day before my speech, I went to pick up the puppy. I was feeling very confident. I could quote all the statistics and numbers without ever looking at my notes. The puppy, I felt, would add the final emotional touch.
When I arrived at the Humane Society I was met by a young guy named Ron. He explained that he was the public relations person for the Humane Society. He was very excited about my speech and asked if I would like a tour of the facilities before I picked up the puppy. I enthusiastically agreed. We started out in the reception area, which was the general public's initial encounter with the Humane Society.
The lobby was full, mostly with people dropping off various animals that they no longer wanted. Ron explained to me that this branch of the Humane Society took in about fifty animals a day and adopted out only about twenty.
As we stood there I heard snatches of conversation: "I can't keep him, he digs holes in my garden." "They are such cute puppies, I know you will have no trouble finding homes for them." "She is wild, I can't control her."
I heard one of Humane Society's volunteer explain to the lady with the litter of puppies that the Society was filled with puppies and that these puppies, being black, would immediately be put to sleep. Black puppies, she explained, had little chance of being adopted. The woman who brought the puppies in just shrugged, "I can't help it," she whined. "They are getting too big. I don't have room for them." We left the reception area. Ron led me into the staging area where all the incoming animals were evaluated for adoptability. Over half never even made it to the adoption center.
There were just too many. Not only were people bringing in their own animals, but strays were also dropped off. By law the Humane Society had to hold a stray for three days. If the animal was not claimed by then, it was euthanized, since there was no background information on the animal. There were already too many animals that had a known history eagerly provided by their soon to be ex-owners. As we went through the different areas, I felt more and more depressed. No amount of statistics, could take the place of seeing the reality of what this throwaway attitude did to the living, breathing animal. It was overwhelming. Finally Ron stopped in front of a closed door. "That's it," he said, "except for this."
I read the sign on the door. "Euthanasia Area." "Do you want to see one?" he asked. Before I could decline, he interjected, "You really should. You can't tell the whole story unless you experience the end." I reluctantly agreed. "Good." He said, "I already cleared it and Peggy is expecting you." He knocked firmly on the door. A middle-aged woman in a white lab coat opened it immediately. "Here's the girl I was telling you about," Ron explained. Peggy looked me over. "Well, I'll leave you here with Peggy and meet you in the reception area in about fifteen minutes. I'll have the puppy ready." With that Ron departed, leaving me standing in front of the stern-looking Peggy. Peggy motioned me in. As I walked into the room, I gave an audible gasp. The room was small and spartan. There were a couple of cages on the wall and a cabinet with syringes and vials of a clear liquid. In the middle of the room was an examining table with a rubber mat on top. There were two doors other than the one I had entered. Both were closed. One said to incinerator room, and the other had no sign, but I could hear various animals' noises coming from behind the closed door. In the back of the room, near the door that was marked incinerator were the objects that caused my distress: two wheelbarrows, filled with the bodies of dead kittens and puppies. I stared in horror. Nothing had prepared me for this. I felt my legs grow weak and my breathing become rapid and shallow. I wanted to run from that room, screaming. Peggy seemed not to notice my state of shock. She started talking about the euthanasia process, but I wasn't hearing her. I could not tear my gaze away from the wheelbarrows and those dozens of pathetic little bodies.
Finally, Peggy seemed to notice that I was not paying attention to her. "Are you listening?" she asked irritably. "I'm only going to go through this once." I tore my gaze from the back of the room and looked at her. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out, so I nodded. She told me that behind the unmarked door were the animals that were scheduled for euthanasia that day. She picked up a chart that was hanging from the wall. "One fifty-three is next," she said as she looked at the chart. "I'll go get him." She laid down the chart on the examining table and started for the unmarked door. Before she got to the door she stopped and turned around. "You aren't going
to get hysterical, are you?" she asked, "Because that will only upset the animals." I shook my head. I had not said a word since I walked into that room. I still felt unsure if I would be able to without breaking down into tears. As Peggy opened the unmarked door I peered into the room beyond. It was a small room, but the walls were lined and stacked with cages. It looked like they were all occupied. Peggy opened the door of one of the lower cages and removed the occupant. From what I could see it looked like a medium-sized dog. She attached a leash and ushered the dog into the room in which I stood.
As Peggy brought the dog into the room I could see that the dog was no more than a puppy, maybe five or six months old. The pup looked to be a cross between a Lab and a German shepherd. He was mostly black, with a small amount of tan above his eyes and on his feet. He was very excited and bouncing up and down, trying to sniff everything in this new environment. Peggy lifted the pup onto the table. She had a card in her hand, which she laid on the table next to me. I read the card. It said that number one fifty-three was a mixed Shepherd, six months old. He was surrendered two days ago by a family. Reason of surrender was given as "jumps on children." At the bottom was a note that said "Name: Sam."
Peggy was quick and efficient, from lots of practice, I guessed. She lay one fifty-three down on his side and tied a rubber tourniquet around his front leg. She turned to fill the syringe from the vial of clear liquid.
All this time I was standing at the head of the table. I could see the moment that one fifty-three went from a curious puppy to a terrified puppy. He did not like being held down and he started to struggle. It was then that I finally found my voice. I bent over the struggling puppy and whispered, "Sam. Your name is Sam." At the sound of his name Sam quit struggling. He wagged his tail tentatively and his soft pink tongue darted out and licked my hand. And that is how he spent his last moment. I watched his eyes fade from hopefulness to nothingness. It was over very quickly. I had never even seen Peggy give the lethal shot. The tears could not be contained any longer. I kept my head down
so as not to embarrass myself in front of the stoic Peggy. My tears fell onto the still body on the table. "Now you know," Peggy said softly. Then she turned away. "Ron will be waiting for you."
I left the room. Although it seemed like it had been hours, only fifteen minutes had gone by since Ron had left me at the door. I made my way back to the reception area. True to his word, Ron had the puppy all ready to go. After giving me some instructions about what to feed the puppy, he handed the carrying cage over to me and wished me good luck on my speech. That night I went home and spent many hours playing with the orphan puppy. I went to bed that night but I could not sleep. After a while I got up and looked at my speech notes with their numbers and statistics. Without a second thought, I tore them up and threw them away. I went back to bed. Sometime during the night I finally fell asleep.
The next morning I arrived at my Speech class with Puppy Doe. When my turn came, I held the puppy in my arms, I took a deep breath, and I told the class about the life and death of Sam. When I finished my speech I became aware that I was crying. I apologized to the class and took my seat. After class the teacher handed out a critique with our grades. I got an "A." His comments said "Very moving and persuasive."
Two days later, on the last day of class, one of my classmates came up to me. She was an older lady that I had never spoken to in class. She stopped me on our way out of the classroom. "I want you to know that I adopted the puppy you brought to class," she said.
"His name is Sam."
by Chris Benton
Please Spay or Neuter your pet. Don't let pet cats wander outside. It may seem cruel to some people to keep them inside, but it is too dangerous for their health and just adds to the cat population problems.
"Don't breed what you don't need" - don't buy animals from pet stores or breeders - there are plenty of wonderful animals in shelters and rescues in need of good homes.
Don't give up your animals for stupid reasons - once you adopt them, they are your responsibility. Have the compassion to provide the animal with a good, loving home for as long as you possibly can.
Treat your animals with the same care and understanding that you would want others to show you. They deserve it.
-------------------------------
After I was discharged from the Navy, Jim and I moved back to Detroit to use our GI bill benefits to get some schooling. Jim was going for a degree in Electronics and I, after much debating, decided to get mine in Computer Science.
One of the classes that was a requirement was Speech. Like many people, I had no fondness for getting up in front of people for any reason, let alone to be the center of attention as I stuttered my way through some unfamiliar subject. But I couldn't get out of the requirement, and so I found myself in my last semester before graduation with Speech as one of my classes. On the first day of class our professor explained to us that he was going to leave the subject matter of our talks up to us, but he was going to provide the motivation of the speech. We would be responsible for six speeches, each with a different motivation. For instance our first speech's purpose was to inform. He advised us to pick subjects that we were interested in and knowledgeable about. I decided to center my six speeches around animals, especially dogs.
For my first speech to inform, I talked about the equestrian art of dressage. For my speech to demonstrate, I brought my German Shepherd, Bodger, to class and demonstrated obedience commands. Finally the semester was almost over and I had but one more speech to give. This speech was to take the place of a written final exam and was to count for fifty per cent of our grade. The speeches motivation was to persuade.
After agonizing over a subject matter, and keeping with my animal theme, I decided on the topic of spaying and neutering pets. My goal was to try to persuade my classmates to neuter their pets. So I started researching the topic. There was plenty of material, articles that told of the millions of dogs and cats that were euthanized every year, of supposedly beloved pets that were turned in to various animal control facilities for the lamest of reasons, or worse, dropped off far from home, bewildered and scared. Death was usually a blessing.
The final speech was looming closer, but I felt well prepared. My notes were full of facts and statistics that I felt sure would motivate even the most naive of pet owners to succumb to my plea.
A couple of days before our speeches were due, I had the bright idea of going to the local branch of the Humane Society and borrowing a puppy to use as a sort of a visual aid. I called the Humane Society and explained what I wanted. They were very happy to accommodate me. I made arrangements to pick up a puppy the day before my speech.
The day before my speech, I went to pick up the puppy. I was feeling very confident. I could quote all the statistics and numbers without ever looking at my notes. The puppy, I felt, would add the final emotional touch.
When I arrived at the Humane Society I was met by a young guy named Ron. He explained that he was the public relations person for the Humane Society. He was very excited about my speech and asked if I would like a tour of the facilities before I picked up the puppy. I enthusiastically agreed. We started out in the reception area, which was the general public's initial encounter with the Humane Society.
The lobby was full, mostly with people dropping off various animals that they no longer wanted. Ron explained to me that this branch of the Humane Society took in about fifty animals a day and adopted out only about twenty.
As we stood there I heard snatches of conversation: "I can't keep him, he digs holes in my garden." "They are such cute puppies, I know you will have no trouble finding homes for them." "She is wild, I can't control her."
I heard one of Humane Society's volunteer explain to the lady with the litter of puppies that the Society was filled with puppies and that these puppies, being black, would immediately be put to sleep. Black puppies, she explained, had little chance of being adopted. The woman who brought the puppies in just shrugged, "I can't help it," she whined. "They are getting too big. I don't have room for them." We left the reception area. Ron led me into the staging area where all the incoming animals were evaluated for adoptability. Over half never even made it to the adoption center.
There were just too many. Not only were people bringing in their own animals, but strays were also dropped off. By law the Humane Society had to hold a stray for three days. If the animal was not claimed by then, it was euthanized, since there was no background information on the animal. There were already too many animals that had a known history eagerly provided by their soon to be ex-owners. As we went through the different areas, I felt more and more depressed. No amount of statistics, could take the place of seeing the reality of what this throwaway attitude did to the living, breathing animal. It was overwhelming. Finally Ron stopped in front of a closed door. "That's it," he said, "except for this."
I read the sign on the door. "Euthanasia Area." "Do you want to see one?" he asked. Before I could decline, he interjected, "You really should. You can't tell the whole story unless you experience the end." I reluctantly agreed. "Good." He said, "I already cleared it and Peggy is expecting you." He knocked firmly on the door. A middle-aged woman in a white lab coat opened it immediately. "Here's the girl I was telling you about," Ron explained. Peggy looked me over. "Well, I'll leave you here with Peggy and meet you in the reception area in about fifteen minutes. I'll have the puppy ready." With that Ron departed, leaving me standing in front of the stern-looking Peggy. Peggy motioned me in. As I walked into the room, I gave an audible gasp. The room was small and spartan. There were a couple of cages on the wall and a cabinet with syringes and vials of a clear liquid. In the middle of the room was an examining table with a rubber mat on top. There were two doors other than the one I had entered. Both were closed. One said to incinerator room, and the other had no sign, but I could hear various animals' noises coming from behind the closed door. In the back of the room, near the door that was marked incinerator were the objects that caused my distress: two wheelbarrows, filled with the bodies of dead kittens and puppies. I stared in horror. Nothing had prepared me for this. I felt my legs grow weak and my breathing become rapid and shallow. I wanted to run from that room, screaming. Peggy seemed not to notice my state of shock. She started talking about the euthanasia process, but I wasn't hearing her. I could not tear my gaze away from the wheelbarrows and those dozens of pathetic little bodies.
Finally, Peggy seemed to notice that I was not paying attention to her. "Are you listening?" she asked irritably. "I'm only going to go through this once." I tore my gaze from the back of the room and looked at her. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out, so I nodded. She told me that behind the unmarked door were the animals that were scheduled for euthanasia that day. She picked up a chart that was hanging from the wall. "One fifty-three is next," she said as she looked at the chart. "I'll go get him." She laid down the chart on the examining table and started for the unmarked door. Before she got to the door she stopped and turned around. "You aren't going
to get hysterical, are you?" she asked, "Because that will only upset the animals." I shook my head. I had not said a word since I walked into that room. I still felt unsure if I would be able to without breaking down into tears. As Peggy opened the unmarked door I peered into the room beyond. It was a small room, but the walls were lined and stacked with cages. It looked like they were all occupied. Peggy opened the door of one of the lower cages and removed the occupant. From what I could see it looked like a medium-sized dog. She attached a leash and ushered the dog into the room in which I stood.
As Peggy brought the dog into the room I could see that the dog was no more than a puppy, maybe five or six months old. The pup looked to be a cross between a Lab and a German shepherd. He was mostly black, with a small amount of tan above his eyes and on his feet. He was very excited and bouncing up and down, trying to sniff everything in this new environment. Peggy lifted the pup onto the table. She had a card in her hand, which she laid on the table next to me. I read the card. It said that number one fifty-three was a mixed Shepherd, six months old. He was surrendered two days ago by a family. Reason of surrender was given as "jumps on children." At the bottom was a note that said "Name: Sam."
Peggy was quick and efficient, from lots of practice, I guessed. She lay one fifty-three down on his side and tied a rubber tourniquet around his front leg. She turned to fill the syringe from the vial of clear liquid.
All this time I was standing at the head of the table. I could see the moment that one fifty-three went from a curious puppy to a terrified puppy. He did not like being held down and he started to struggle. It was then that I finally found my voice. I bent over the struggling puppy and whispered, "Sam. Your name is Sam." At the sound of his name Sam quit struggling. He wagged his tail tentatively and his soft pink tongue darted out and licked my hand. And that is how he spent his last moment. I watched his eyes fade from hopefulness to nothingness. It was over very quickly. I had never even seen Peggy give the lethal shot. The tears could not be contained any longer. I kept my head down
so as not to embarrass myself in front of the stoic Peggy. My tears fell onto the still body on the table. "Now you know," Peggy said softly. Then she turned away. "Ron will be waiting for you."
I left the room. Although it seemed like it had been hours, only fifteen minutes had gone by since Ron had left me at the door. I made my way back to the reception area. True to his word, Ron had the puppy all ready to go. After giving me some instructions about what to feed the puppy, he handed the carrying cage over to me and wished me good luck on my speech. That night I went home and spent many hours playing with the orphan puppy. I went to bed that night but I could not sleep. After a while I got up and looked at my speech notes with their numbers and statistics. Without a second thought, I tore them up and threw them away. I went back to bed. Sometime during the night I finally fell asleep.
The next morning I arrived at my Speech class with Puppy Doe. When my turn came, I held the puppy in my arms, I took a deep breath, and I told the class about the life and death of Sam. When I finished my speech I became aware that I was crying. I apologized to the class and took my seat. After class the teacher handed out a critique with our grades. I got an "A." His comments said "Very moving and persuasive."
Two days later, on the last day of class, one of my classmates came up to me. She was an older lady that I had never spoken to in class. She stopped me on our way out of the classroom. "I want you to know that I adopted the puppy you brought to class," she said.
"His name is Sam."
by Chris Benton
Please Spay or Neuter your pet. Don't let pet cats wander outside. It may seem cruel to some people to keep them inside, but it is too dangerous for their health and just adds to the cat population problems.
"Don't breed what you don't need" - don't buy animals from pet stores or breeders - there are plenty of wonderful animals in shelters and rescues in need of good homes.
Don't give up your animals for stupid reasons - once you adopt them, they are your responsibility. Have the compassion to provide the animal with a good, loving home for as long as you possibly can.
Treat your animals with the same care and understanding that you would want others to show you. They deserve it.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
thIngs yOU mAy hAvE wAntEd tO knOw bUt wErE tOO AfrAId tO Ask: pArt 3
This is it folks.........
am I?
[x]ugly. depends
[x]pretty. depends
[x]ok. depends
[x]bored. never
[x]happy. I try to be
[ ]bilingual. I wish I could speak spanish fluently
[x]white. pretty much, except these d*mn freckles
[ ]Black
[]Mexican.
[ ]short.
[ ]medium.
[x]tall. depends on who I'm standing next to
[x]grounded. I used to be all the time, now it's become more of a challenge
[x]sick. in what way? why? what have you heard?
[x]lazy. I don't think so, but I guess sometimes
[ ]talking to someone. do the voices in my head count?
[x]IMing someone. yeah, snicker snicker
[ ]scared to die. no, I can't wait
[x]sleepy. uh huh
[ ]annoyed. not at the moment, check back in 5 minutes
[ ]on the phone.
[ ]in your room.
[x]drinking something. yum... coffee
[x]eating something. in a few minutes
[ ]in your pjs. nope at work
[x]ticklish. yeah
[x]listening to music. always
[ ]homophobic.
am I?
[x]ugly. depends
[x]pretty. depends
[x]ok. depends
[x]bored. never
[x]happy. I try to be
[ ]bilingual. I wish I could speak spanish fluently
[x]white. pretty much, except these d*mn freckles
[ ]Black
[]Mexican.
[ ]short.
[ ]medium.
[x]tall. depends on who I'm standing next to
[x]grounded. I used to be all the time, now it's become more of a challenge
[x]sick. in what way? why? what have you heard?
[x]lazy. I don't think so, but I guess sometimes
[ ]talking to someone. do the voices in my head count?
[x]IMing someone. yeah, snicker snicker
[ ]scared to die. no, I can't wait
[x]sleepy. uh huh
[ ]annoyed. not at the moment, check back in 5 minutes
[ ]on the phone.
[ ]in your room.
[x]drinking something. yum... coffee
[x]eating something. in a few minutes
[ ]in your pjs. nope at work
[x]ticklish. yeah
[x]listening to music. always
[ ]homophobic.
Well, below is my friend Michael Sico. For some reason, I could not post any text with the pix.... I dunno. Anyway, back to Michael. Michael currently lives in New Jersey but hopes to move to the city soon (NYC for those of you who do not know which city I am refering to). He is a very sweet, romantic, young gentlemen who graduated from the University of Florida with a Bachelor's Degree in Business. Though he would like to open a clothing or retail business someday, he is currently teaching our challenged youth and is also dabling with purchasing and selling real estate. Micheal is very close to his family, especially his mother and sister. When he is not working or in the gym, Michael spends his free time volunteering for various organizations and traveling. Though he is braving the cold weather now, Michael loves the warm south and hopes to be joining us down here soon. If you would like to get in touch with Michael, leave a comment.... he always likes to meet new people, especially beautiful females (pst.... he has a weakness for blondes).
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Friday, December 03, 2004
thIngs yOU mAy hAvE wAntEd tO knOw bUt wErE tOO AfrAId tO Ask: pArt 2
Next installment......
do I?
[ ]have a bf. no
[ ]have a gf. no
[x]have a crush. somethings never die
[x]have a dog. no, I have a large baboog (baboon face dog)
[x]have your own room. yup
[x]listen to rap. occasionally
[x]paint your nails. sometimes
[x]play a sport. not professionally but I loves to volley
[x]play more than one sport. I'm up for whatever
[ ]watch sports on tv. um... not so much
[x]have a fav. group/singer/artist. many
[x]have more than 1 best friend. I don't really think of it as best friends b/c then you could only have one, right?
[x]get good grades. I do ok
[x]play an instrument. I like to bang on stuff, just don't know if it's considered music
[ ] have slippers. nope
[x]wear boxers. sure
[ ]wear black eyeliner. ya never know
[x]like the color blue. yup yup
[xlike the color yellow. of course, it's the colour of the sun
[x]like to read.
[x]like to write.
[ ]have long hair. it's been in the mid to short range for awhile now
[x]have short hair.
[x]have a cell phone. yeah, I sold out
[x]have a laptop.
[ ]have a pager. used to, long long time ago
do I?
[ ]have a bf. no
[ ]have a gf. no
[x]have a crush. somethings never die
[x]have a dog. no, I have a large baboog (baboon face dog)
[x]have your own room. yup
[x]listen to rap. occasionally
[x]paint your nails. sometimes
[x]play a sport. not professionally but I loves to volley
[x]play more than one sport. I'm up for whatever
[ ]watch sports on tv. um... not so much
[x]have a fav. group/singer/artist. many
[x]have more than 1 best friend. I don't really think of it as best friends b/c then you could only have one, right?
[x]get good grades. I do ok
[x]play an instrument. I like to bang on stuff, just don't know if it's considered music
[ ] have slippers. nope
[x]wear boxers. sure
[ ]wear black eyeliner. ya never know
[x]like the color blue. yup yup
[xlike the color yellow. of course, it's the colour of the sun
[x]like to read.
[x]like to write.
[ ]have long hair. it's been in the mid to short range for awhile now
[x]have short hair.
[x]have a cell phone. yeah, I sold out
[x]have a laptop.
[ ]have a pager. used to, long long time ago
Thursday, December 02, 2004
cOntrAdIctIOns
As the daylight hours become shorter.... I seem to be turning more introspective. Perhaps it's not the time of year but previous events but I seem to be needing some quiet time. Strangely enough I am yearning for company and wanting to surround myself with activity. It seems there are many contradictions in my life presently, including relationships. New found free time is wonderful but I also have tons to do; I don't understand! Why is life so confusing. Sometimes, I feel I make it confusing and other times I feel I'm just a character in a play with no control over who is directing.
Well, I have purchased a tix for California. I'm leaving on December 23rd and will be back on January 1st. It will be nice to finallly get out there, since I've been wanting to visit for awhile now. Richard and I will be traveling together and we'll be staying in San Francisco and Santa Barbara. Our friend Erik lives in San Fran, and Stu (my brother-in-law's brother, who is awesome!) lives in Santa Barbara. He's going to UCSB for marine science and has offered to show he around the campus and stuff. I emailed a proff there who's working on some interesting stuff.... so, who knows, I may not want to come back. It will also be great to see Erik. Erik is Alana's cousin, who used to live in Miami. We met a few years ago and hit it off well. It will be great to see him again, I always have a great time with him. Exploring California with Richard will be fun as well.
It's hard for me to justify traveling for pleasure. So, I have decided that the purpose of this trip to visit friends an explore possible colleges. We will overlook the fact that winter break is not the optimal time to visit schools ; }
Well, I have purchased a tix for California. I'm leaving on December 23rd and will be back on January 1st. It will be nice to finallly get out there, since I've been wanting to visit for awhile now. Richard and I will be traveling together and we'll be staying in San Francisco and Santa Barbara. Our friend Erik lives in San Fran, and Stu (my brother-in-law's brother, who is awesome!) lives in Santa Barbara. He's going to UCSB for marine science and has offered to show he around the campus and stuff. I emailed a proff there who's working on some interesting stuff.... so, who knows, I may not want to come back. It will also be great to see Erik. Erik is Alana's cousin, who used to live in Miami. We met a few years ago and hit it off well. It will be great to see him again, I always have a great time with him. Exploring California with Richard will be fun as well.
It's hard for me to justify traveling for pleasure. So, I have decided that the purpose of this trip to visit friends an explore possible colleges. We will overlook the fact that winter break is not the optimal time to visit schools ; }
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
thIngs yOU mAy hAvE wAntEd tO knOw bUt wErE tOO AfrAId tO Ask: pArt 1
Here's some info about me you may or may not have wanted to know, enjoy!
have I?
[?]been drunk. some say so, but I dissagree
[x ]smoked pot. surprise surprise
[x]kissed a member of the opposite sex. Oh yeah
[x]rode in a taxi.
[x]been dumped. Does being dropped count?
[x]shoplifted. yup
[x]been fired. yup
[x]had a job. I've been bustin my *ss since I was 14, man!
[ ]been in a fist fight. no, I'm don't like fighting
[x]snuck out. All I have to say is: clu clump clu clump....'wait up guys'
[ ]been arrested.
[x]stole something from your job. I think of it more as a benefit of the job
[ ]celebrated new years in times square. not yet
[ ]went on a blind date.
[x]smoked a cigarette. yeah, and they're disgusting, I don't understand why people do it!
[x]gone on an airplane by yourself. yup
[x]broken a bone. do toes count?
[ ]had sex in a car. No, but there's always more time.
[x]white lied to a friend.
[x]went swimming in your bathtub.
[x]had a crush on a teacher. Massive crush on a TA, 2 in fact
[ ]celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[x]been to europe. Yup
[x]made out in a movie theater. but of course
[x]taken caffeine pills. I prefer coffee
[ ] been to disney land.
[x] had a crush on someone you hardly knew. oh yeah... how well do we know anyone, really?
[x] been to california.
[x ]been skinny dipping.
[x]regretted something. i wish not
[x ]peed on someones lawn.
[x]skipped school. Yup
[ ]thrown up from drinking.
[x ]lost a parent. yes
[ x]kissed a member of the same sex.
[ x]had sex with a boy. pst...but you didn't hear it from me
[x ]had sex with a girl. not yet, but there's still time
[x]been in a car accident. what me..... no
[ ]partied for days and days straight.
[x]had a family member die. yup
[x]played 'clue'. ....just a few times
[x]had a sleepover party. all the time... wait how many people does it take to make it a party?
[x]went ice skating. Yup
[ ]dropped x. broke up with them, dropped no
[ ]been cheated on. not to my knowledge
[x]had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[ ] had a 3some. not yet
[]had a sweet sixteen.
[x ]had/have a car. a few
[x]drove.
[ ]had sex on a roof, with your friends unknowingly watching? not yet
Phew.... ok, you better leave some comments!!
This survey is complements of Danielle Graham... hope ya don't mind me using it!!
have I?
[?]been drunk. some say so, but I dissagree
[x ]smoked pot. surprise surprise
[x]kissed a member of the opposite sex. Oh yeah
[x]rode in a taxi.
[x]been dumped. Does being dropped count?
[x]shoplifted. yup
[x]been fired. yup
[x]had a job. I've been bustin my *ss since I was 14, man!
[ ]been in a fist fight. no, I'm don't like fighting
[x]snuck out. All I have to say is: clu clump clu clump....'wait up guys'
[ ]been arrested.
[x]stole something from your job. I think of it more as a benefit of the job
[ ]celebrated new years in times square. not yet
[ ]went on a blind date.
[x]smoked a cigarette. yeah, and they're disgusting, I don't understand why people do it!
[x]gone on an airplane by yourself. yup
[x]broken a bone. do toes count?
[ ]had sex in a car. No, but there's always more time.
[x]white lied to a friend.
[x]went swimming in your bathtub.
[x]had a crush on a teacher. Massive crush on a TA, 2 in fact
[ ]celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[x]been to europe. Yup
[x]made out in a movie theater. but of course
[x]taken caffeine pills. I prefer coffee
[ ] been to disney land.
[x] had a crush on someone you hardly knew. oh yeah... how well do we know anyone, really?
[x] been to california.
[x ]been skinny dipping.
[x]regretted something. i wish not
[x ]peed on someones lawn.
[x]skipped school. Yup
[ ]thrown up from drinking.
[x ]lost a parent. yes
[ x]kissed a member of the same sex.
[ x]had sex with a boy. pst...but you didn't hear it from me
[x ]had sex with a girl. not yet, but there's still time
[x]been in a car accident. what me..... no
[ ]partied for days and days straight.
[x]had a family member die. yup
[x]played 'clue'. ....just a few times
[x]had a sleepover party. all the time... wait how many people does it take to make it a party?
[x]went ice skating. Yup
[ ]dropped x. broke up with them, dropped no
[ ]been cheated on. not to my knowledge
[x]had a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[ ] had a 3some. not yet
[]had a sweet sixteen.
[x ]had/have a car. a few
[x]drove.
[ ]had sex on a roof, with your friends unknowingly watching? not yet
Phew.... ok, you better leave some comments!!
This survey is complements of Danielle Graham... hope ya don't mind me using it!!
Saturday, November 27, 2004
tXgIvIng
Ah... food, the best part of the holidays.
And we're all wearing so much clothing... no one can tell you gained 15 pounds!
Well, if you can't eat it, at least have some fun with it.
Perhaps we should all look to the young and enjoy things through thier eyes.
..........................................................................................................
Saturday, November 20, 2004
nEgAtIvE aRt
I don't get it...I don't understand why good creative work has to stem from negative things. It seems as though I am only inspired to write poems when I'm distraught over something or pissed off. It's pretty depressing! I was watching an interview with Fiona Apple from last year and when asked why the new album (which is still not released by the way) is more up than her previous ones she remarked that when it's your job and you can only be productive when something negative is happening, that's pretty depressing. I suppose she tried to focus more on the happier things for this album, Extradordinary Things. I've only heard one song from it and it's really good. I can't believe Sony is still sitting on the album. It's been finished for over a year now, supposedly. You can check out the retaliated fans at www.fionaapple.org There is a link to the interview I watched and other stuff relating to getting the album released, such as mass emails to Sony, etc.
Back to the good poetry coming from negative shit... Often times, I really like what I have written and it becomes detached from the reason I wrote it. At the time of writing it allows me to express what I was feeling, which can be very hard sometimes. However, later it represents that time but I also can look at it singularly as a creative work... and that is how I normally view things. Often time, I can not connect to the feelings I had when I wrote it, I look at it as someone looking at a painting. Only seeing what is before me, and further interpreting it differently each time I read it.
Back to the good poetry coming from negative shit... Often times, I really like what I have written and it becomes detached from the reason I wrote it. At the time of writing it allows me to express what I was feeling, which can be very hard sometimes. However, later it represents that time but I also can look at it singularly as a creative work... and that is how I normally view things. Often time, I can not connect to the feelings I had when I wrote it, I look at it as someone looking at a painting. Only seeing what is before me, and further interpreting it differently each time I read it.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
dIstrActIOns
they're everywhere
can't you see?
there's one right there
it's following me!
what am i doing?
i can't remember
i can't think straight
focus... focus
stay in control
goals and dreams
put on hold
to tend to a distraction
for which i have no control
are they mirrors...
displaying what i cannot see?
or simple distractions
hindering growth
they're everywhere
can't you see?
there's one right there
it's following me!
can't you see?
there's one right there
it's following me!
what am i doing?
i can't remember
i can't think straight
focus... focus
stay in control
goals and dreams
put on hold
to tend to a distraction
for which i have no control
are they mirrors...
displaying what i cannot see?
or simple distractions
hindering growth
they're everywhere
can't you see?
there's one right there
it's following me!
Friday, November 12, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
lAtE kNigHts
So, what does one do after a late night of catching up at the local bar... take pictures of their unsuspecting friends of course. No poem or angry statement here, just wanted to share a pix. I liked how it ended up so up on the blog it goes.
The funny thing about responsibility is everyone wants the pay-off but doesn't want to put the work into it. I myself fall into this as well. Things keep piling up and I feel the pressure but it still doesn't motivate me to do it b/c I become smothered. I am amazed that I have yet to learn this lesson, especially since I recognize it each time it happens. Ah, but I guess if we learned all our lessons, there wouldn't be a reason to live on in the next life.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
gAtEs oF eXpErIEncE
is it heaven or is it hell
gates of promise or disappointment
a loving embrace or a smack in the face
a matter of perception
a unique reflection
a different experience for you and me
to be shared later
envied and coveted
but never relived
Monday, November 08, 2004
gOIngs On
Sorry I haven't written in awhile, for those of you who have been checking the blog; it's nice to know someone cares (thanx Kevin!). Things have been a little hectic lately. This past Thursday, Karza and I drove up to Charleston to interview for a graduate position; it was a lot of fun. The people were really nice. When I went there I thought I was going to have one interview and then be on my way. However, I was running around all day, meeting every faculty member in the department. It was kinda nice to be treated though. On the way back, we stopped in Charleston. I was planning on staying the night there. At first I was going to stay in a hostel but then I decided to camp; however, as the sun started going down, I started having second thoughts. It was getting a bit chilly; so, I headed to St. Augustine. I really liked Charleston; it was like a bigger St. Augustine. I enjoyed wandering around the streets. That's one thing I miss, wandering.... I miss wandering the streets downtown over on the beach. Overall, the experience went well. My impression was that Charleston was like St. Augustine and Columbia was like Gainesville; except Columbia was farther inland. Columbia has a 5 points area that reminded me of Jacksonville. That's been where all my nrg has been going so recently. Now, I'm focusing on some applications for grad school. I will be happy when I know where I'm going and it's all well and done. Well, that's all for now.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Saturday, October 23, 2004
mOnUmEntAl
This past Thursday, I watched a documentary about a man named David Brower. Who is that? That is precisely what I asked, so I did a little research.. imagine that. Well, David Brower was an avid mountain climber and outdoorsman who loved nature. He was an executive director of the Sierra club many years ago and founded a few organizations concerned with the preservation of natural areas. The film, Monumental, was very humbling... to say the least!! You can check it out at http://www.loteriafilms.org/. Who knew one person could do so much!?! It makes me feel as though I've spent my whole life as a bump on a log. It also makes me realize that there is so much more to do and that my obligations have yet to be met (though I still don't know what they are). I would highly recommend checking out the movie, if you get the opportunity, and if not, at least look into what David Brower accomplished, one website is: http://www.earthisland.org/brower/sub_bio.cfm. Perhaps it can motivate us all to take action for what we care about and want others to have the opportunity to enjoy.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
dYnAmIc EqUIlIbrIUm
... is this not what we are all currently apart of?
It seems as though society disagrees. From where does this statement come? In the destruction and maelstrom that abounds. We are on a downward spiral and people don't want to realize it! They keep on doing their mundane daily activities, looking just beyond the next corner, but not seeing down the street where there are barricades and flashing hazard lights.
What is one to do? Give up... Just keep on living with no meaningfulness. How is that rewarding? Negative action is one choice. One could just give up and let those who are currently destroying the beautiful earth live in what hey are creating. How can people find more beauty in the cheap man-made contraptions that humans produce than earth and its infinite wonders. Oh, but then people can't see these wonders because they destroy them and cover the area with cement.... how could I forget. Once one is so disconnected from the earth it is easy to abuse it.
This is the case in any type of abuse. If one truly cares for something one would not try to hurt or harm it in any way. Yet, if one separates themselves from it they feel no regret in treating it badly. If humans could feel the pain they put out into the world... I think they would take different actions.
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the fight. I feel as though I'm fighting all the time. Fighting against society, fighting to keep myself distracted... as most people do. I don't like to be distracted, but I don't like what I see either. It''s as though the pieces of a puzzle are placed before me but they do not quite fit and there is this constant pressure to finish the puzzle.
I say we cut up the little pieces and make a collage!
It seems as though society disagrees. From where does this statement come? In the destruction and maelstrom that abounds. We are on a downward spiral and people don't want to realize it! They keep on doing their mundane daily activities, looking just beyond the next corner, but not seeing down the street where there are barricades and flashing hazard lights.
What is one to do? Give up... Just keep on living with no meaningfulness. How is that rewarding? Negative action is one choice. One could just give up and let those who are currently destroying the beautiful earth live in what hey are creating. How can people find more beauty in the cheap man-made contraptions that humans produce than earth and its infinite wonders. Oh, but then people can't see these wonders because they destroy them and cover the area with cement.... how could I forget. Once one is so disconnected from the earth it is easy to abuse it.
This is the case in any type of abuse. If one truly cares for something one would not try to hurt or harm it in any way. Yet, if one separates themselves from it they feel no regret in treating it badly. If humans could feel the pain they put out into the world... I think they would take different actions.
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the fight. I feel as though I'm fighting all the time. Fighting against society, fighting to keep myself distracted... as most people do. I don't like to be distracted, but I don't like what I see either. It''s as though the pieces of a puzzle are placed before me but they do not quite fit and there is this constant pressure to finish the puzzle.
I say we cut up the little pieces and make a collage!
Monday, October 18, 2004
thE jOUrnEy
Abandoned train tracks
Feeling lost
all alone
on a path
destination unknown
signs hidden
clues unclear
seeking comfort
not found here
leaving...
an option
well nurtured day to day
running...
in cognito
trying to get away
regrets...
like sandspurs
picked up along the way
clinging desperately
sometimes causing pain
questions...
running an infinite race
carried by thoughts
surface throughout the day
a rhythmic cycle
keeping pace with the beat
of each foot placed
on a path of uncertainty.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
hOmE... fOr nOw
Since many of you have yet and/or will not be able to come and visit, I decided to post a pix of where I am now living. It's a nice house in a quiet neighborhood. The guy that owns it is named Brian, he is the same age as me and has just started a masters program at UF. His sister Kathleen also lives here. She works as a paralegal in town. My bedroom is on the left side [facing the house] in the very back corner. There is also one bedroom that is not occupied, if anyone would like to come and visit. As with all the pix posted here, you can click on it and a larger pix will open in the same window.
Brian's house where I currently live 10.17.04
thE pUps
Here's a photo of the playful pups. I was able to get a snapshot while they weren't ontop of each other playing. Bailey if a 3 year old yellow lab. He is quite taken by Karza meeting us in the morning, when I let them out, and lays outside my door when we are in here. Karza loves the company so it makes me feel good being that I am gone a lot at work. Ok, enough doggie talk for now...
Karza and Bailey on a break from playing 10.17.04
Saturday, October 16, 2004
grAffItI
So, the development of this blog is coming along nicely. I'm still working out the kinks but am very excited about the whole thing. Today was a nice somewhat relaxing day. Made some progress on the topper search, finally! Also made it over to the bike trails at the north end of San Felasco. It seems as though I do not a very good sense of direction in the woods and the maps don't always correlate with the trails. However, I didn't get majorly injured and had a good work out... so all in all it was good, sometime a bit stressful, but good. The highlight of the day was going out playing with my new toy... a digi cam!! I had a blast driving around finding things to shoot. I found an old rail road train that had graffiti on it. I likes this one a lot...
Graffiti art on abandoned train outside of High Springs 10.16.04
Friday, October 15, 2004
a New day
Well, this is the first blog ever... at least for me. Who knew it was so easy. I was just trying to find a place to post pix for the NEW digital camera I just bought!! Yes, that is right. I... who never thought I would own a digital camera now does. I just tell myself it goes along with the cell phone I was never going to own. I guess one should use definitives sparingly. It's a happy day in Karzaland... a new bag of food and even a nice shiny bone; what more could one ask for [besides a new digital camera]? That's all for now... until next time...
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