Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Winter Holidaze
The winter holidays are approaching quickly and with it the journey back to my hometown to see family. My hometown, the small coastal community that has grown too large for its britches, is no longer the home in my memories. When I return, places and people are familiar, but it as though they are from a dream, slightly familiar but appear different.
I think of the people I have known over the years and those I have been close with and they all seem to distant as thought when I see them again, it will be like meeting them for the first time. And then there is the sadness of the relationships that have not survived. It seems that my hometown is harboring more sadness as the years pass than joyous memories. Unresolved issues create baggage that no matter how hard I try, follows me around and stubbornly will not leave.
So, with a nonexistent home and disillusioned perception of the place I lived for so long I am hesitantly approaching the drive down for the holidays. Each time I go, I think, this time it will be different and I will rekindle something or find something anew, but I find that over the years it is drama that has been found and sadness that has been created, both of which I can gladly do without.
Therefore, I am attempting to travel south with no expectations and an open...... mind, hoping for the best and searching for the strength to shrug off the negative, selfishness that I will face.
I think of the people I have known over the years and those I have been close with and they all seem to distant as thought when I see them again, it will be like meeting them for the first time. And then there is the sadness of the relationships that have not survived. It seems that my hometown is harboring more sadness as the years pass than joyous memories. Unresolved issues create baggage that no matter how hard I try, follows me around and stubbornly will not leave.
So, with a nonexistent home and disillusioned perception of the place I lived for so long I am hesitantly approaching the drive down for the holidays. Each time I go, I think, this time it will be different and I will rekindle something or find something anew, but I find that over the years it is drama that has been found and sadness that has been created, both of which I can gladly do without.
Therefore, I am attempting to travel south with no expectations and an open...... mind, hoping for the best and searching for the strength to shrug off the negative, selfishness that I will face.
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
~ Mahatma Gandhi
Time is hectic and although there are many tasks to tend to and little time to do so, I find myself stubbornly resisting and digging in my heels like am obstinate mule. There are other projects, that entice me and lure my attentions away from work, yet I do not heed to these distractions, because that is exactly what they are and above all else, I just want to be done with my time in North Carolina and moving on with my life.
The blatant fact that I do not where or what I am moving onto looms over me, but I have taken the stance that it can't be any worse than the present, when in fact I know it can... and that worries me.
Not to completely be negative... there are some positive events, although intermittent and fleeting, I enjoy them as much as possible. Basically it boils down to the fact that I am not happy here, but I wonder if I will ever be happy. Is it the place or is it me? More and more emphasis is placed on the place and other tell me it is not me, but I wonder.
The blatant fact that I do not where or what I am moving onto looms over me, but I have taken the stance that it can't be any worse than the present, when in fact I know it can... and that worries me.
Not to completely be negative... there are some positive events, although intermittent and fleeting, I enjoy them as much as possible. Basically it boils down to the fact that I am not happy here, but I wonder if I will ever be happy. Is it the place or is it me? More and more emphasis is placed on the place and other tell me it is not me, but I wonder.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Before even leaving Greeville, Saturday started out with positive new interactions, exciting me about what is to come. Having worked so hard leading up to the conference, there was little time to plan or research outings and the places I was going to visit [in Rhode Island and NYC]. Going on a 'take it as it comes' basis, it was nice to start the trip with meeting new friendly faces.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Fall Feat
Before even leaving Greenville, Saturday started out with positive new interactions, exciting me about what is to come. Having worked so hard leading up to the conference, there was little time to plan or research outings and the places I was going to visit. Going on a 'take it as it comes' basis, it was nice to start the trip with meeting new friendly faces.
After a somewhat tumultuous landing, with a tropical storm spinning high speed winds offshore the new england coast, I arrived in Rhode Island. As the drizzling rain continued falling, I took an informative cab ride from the airport to the hotel. Conveniently, the hotel we booked was located just down the road from what is called 'the hill', which is an italian neighborhood where I found a wonderful bakery. Even more conveniently, the hotel was a mere 1/2 block from the convention center, where ERF was held, and a few blocks from the train station.
Sunday morning I headed for the train station and caught the early train to Boston to meet up with a friend and explore the city. Being my first time on a train in the east coast, I soon fell in love with the possibility of living in a place where public transport was available and one was able to travel to nearby city for the day. Within 50 minutes, I was taken from Providence, Rhode Island to Boston, Massachusetts, the simplicity of which guffawed me.
After wandering around Boston in the cold dry air, I came upon on of the many Starbuck's [which are located on every block, in case you would ever need one]. Nika met up with me shortly thereafter and we amiably wandered around the city until later that afternoon when it was time for each of us to catch our trains. I arrived back in Providence just in time to register for the conference and get cleaned up for the welcome function.
Unlike the few geology conferences I've attended, ERF definitely made expensive registration fees worthwhile. In addition to the very tasty food served during the welcome function, they also served lunch and complementary coffee every day. This in addition to the hotel [which I am not used to staying in] spoiled me, to say the least.
The first day of the conference was filled with interesting presentations about climate change related topics, a few of which were given by colleagues on the NC Sea-Level Rise Project. That evening, I had the pleasure of having dinner with an old friend of the family and her husband. I was a bit hesitant, being that I had not seen her in many years, but had a wonderful time and enjoyed it immensely.
The second day of the conference, I was scheduled to present my poster during the lunch break. Although I was a bit nervous, it went splendidly. I had some good conversations and discussions about the project and data. It was wonderful to be able to talk with others who are familiar with similar data analysis methods. That afternoon, I enjoyed the high from the positive interactions, even one in which a scientist commented that he 'liked my enthusiasm', something I was surprised to hear, being that I am generally not enthusiastic about my work.
The third of the conference was less enthralling, with few presentations that were pertinent or relevant to my area of study. So, I took the opportunity to catch up on some nap time and preparing for my departure to NYC the next day. Because I was taking the train from Providence to NYC, I only wanted to have to carry one bag and was thankfully able to leave the bulk of my luggage with a friend who drove up and agreed to escort my baggage back to Greenville.
Getting all the luggage squared away and with few pertinent presentations on Thursday, I made my routine visit to the awesome bakery [as routine as one can be with only a few days in town] and then decided to check out a bit of Providence before heading over to New York. While wandering around the area near the hotel, I stumbled upon a few fantastic book stores. However, noon soon came around and it was time to catch the train. After about 4 hours scenic hours on the train I arrived in Penn Station, NY and started the third part of my traveling adventure.
My friend, Ben, met me at the train station and after a warm welcoming hug, we headed out into the city. With large towering buildings and swarms of people moving individually, yet collectively along the sides of the city streets, like trained ants, we fell in step and were soon lost in the swarm. Surprisingly, it was not as overwhelming as I thought it was going to be and I found it easy to move and make my way.
The city life is definitely foreign to me. It is supreme people watching and free entertainment environment. While crammed into a subway train, with little to no personal space, it amazed me how the locals can live like that yet and be so distant from one another. How people can be so close in physical space, yet not connect?
Arriving in the city on Thursday was a good time because that gave us Friday to explore the museums and other places that would otherwise be overpopulated on a weekend. After looking through the exhibits at the various museums, we decided to visit the Guggenheim. Neither of us were familiar with the Richard Prince, the main artist showing, but I was pleasantly surprised and enjoyed his work immensely. His approach is simple, yet humorous and I really liked his style overall.
Unfortunately, it was raining Friday, so we took our time in the museum and then made our way back to the apartment. We decided to catch a film at a small arthouse theatre, Sunshine Cinema, around the corner that was showing Into The Wild. The movie is based on the book by Jon Krakauer, who helped Sean Penn, the director, adapt it for the screen. Having read the book years ago, I had been anxiously awaiting it's release and was ecstatic to be able to see it at the Sunshine Cinema. The theatre fondly reminded me of the Hippodrome Theatre in Gainesville, Fl where friends and me have spent many evenings enjoying independent foreign films. The theatre was packed and we had to sit close to the screen, but it was great to see the story onscreen. There were some changes that I did not remember taking place in the book, but overall the story was well represented and I am happy it will be able to reach a larger audience.
Saturday was a lazy day. We headed out into the city and wandered around a bit and ordered food int hat evening. The food was so good in New York and it was surprising not that expensive. The portions are perfect and the prices are reasonable, especially after coming from Grenville, where food is so much more expensive than what I'm used to, the portions are not too large or too small and there are not many choices for someone who doesn't eat meat laden meals.
With Sunday being my last full day before heading back to NC, we decided to hit the thrift shops and see if we could find any good deals.... this of course after visiting Central Park. We walked form the east village, where the apartment is to the Southwestern corner of Central Park and then explored it's vastness. We later followed the outing with a few second hand/thrift shops. We took the train over over to Brooklyn, where we looked back toward Manhattan [pictured below], and later walked over to Greenwich Village and then looked across the Hudson River at New Jersey.
The trip back to North Carolina was not as enjoyable and interactions were at a minimum. I had my last hurrah with public transport as we made our way to the airport. After saying good-bye to Ben and savoring our hug, I made my way to the gate and patiently waited for the plane. Although the place arrived over an hour late, I was able to make my connecting flight and made it back to NC safe and sound. It was wonderful to be greeted by those copper eyes and fluffy butt. As I settled into bed, my own bed that I hadn't slept in for over a week, it's familiarness was comforting, but I yearned to be elsewhere.
After a somewhat tumultuous landing, with a tropical storm spinning high speed winds offshore the new england coast, I arrived in Rhode Island. As the drizzling rain continued falling, I took an informative cab ride from the airport to the hotel. Conveniently, the hotel we booked was located just down the road from what is called 'the hill', which is an italian neighborhood where I found a wonderful bakery. Even more conveniently, the hotel was a mere 1/2 block from the convention center, where ERF was held, and a few blocks from the train station.
Sunday morning I headed for the train station and caught the early train to Boston to meet up with a friend and explore the city. Being my first time on a train in the east coast, I soon fell in love with the possibility of living in a place where public transport was available and one was able to travel to nearby city for the day. Within 50 minutes, I was taken from Providence, Rhode Island to Boston, Massachusetts, the simplicity of which guffawed me.
After wandering around Boston in the cold dry air, I came upon on of the many Starbuck's [which are located on every block, in case you would ever need one]. Nika met up with me shortly thereafter and we amiably wandered around the city until later that afternoon when it was time for each of us to catch our trains. I arrived back in Providence just in time to register for the conference and get cleaned up for the welcome function.Unlike the few geology conferences I've attended, ERF definitely made expensive registration fees worthwhile. In addition to the very tasty food served during the welcome function, they also served lunch and complementary coffee every day. This in addition to the hotel [which I am not used to staying in] spoiled me, to say the least.
The first day of the conference was filled with interesting presentations about climate change related topics, a few of which were given by colleagues on the NC Sea-Level Rise Project. That evening, I had the pleasure of having dinner with an old friend of the family and her husband. I was a bit hesitant, being that I had not seen her in many years, but had a wonderful time and enjoyed it immensely.
The second day of the conference, I was scheduled to present my poster during the lunch break. Although I was a bit nervous, it went splendidly. I had some good conversations and discussions about the project and data. It was wonderful to be able to talk with others who are familiar with similar data analysis methods. That afternoon, I enjoyed the high from the positive interactions, even one in which a scientist commented that he 'liked my enthusiasm', something I was surprised to hear, being that I am generally not enthusiastic about my work.
The third of the conference was less enthralling, with few presentations that were pertinent or relevant to my area of study. So, I took the opportunity to catch up on some nap time and preparing for my departure to NYC the next day. Because I was taking the train from Providence to NYC, I only wanted to have to carry one bag and was thankfully able to leave the bulk of my luggage with a friend who drove up and agreed to escort my baggage back to Greenville.
Getting all the luggage squared away and with few pertinent presentations on Thursday, I made my routine visit to the awesome bakery [as routine as one can be with only a few days in town] and then decided to check out a bit of Providence before heading over to New York. While wandering around the area near the hotel, I stumbled upon a few fantastic book stores. However, noon soon came around and it was time to catch the train. After about 4 hours scenic hours on the train I arrived in Penn Station, NY and started the third part of my traveling adventure.
My friend, Ben, met me at the train station and after a warm welcoming hug, we headed out into the city. With large towering buildings and swarms of people moving individually, yet collectively along the sides of the city streets, like trained ants, we fell in step and were soon lost in the swarm. Surprisingly, it was not as overwhelming as I thought it was going to be and I found it easy to move and make my way.
The city life is definitely foreign to me. It is supreme people watching and free entertainment environment. While crammed into a subway train, with little to no personal space, it amazed me how the locals can live like that yet and be so distant from one another. How people can be so close in physical space, yet not connect?
Arriving in the city on Thursday was a good time because that gave us Friday to explore the museums and other places that would otherwise be overpopulated on a weekend. After looking through the exhibits at the various museums, we decided to visit the Guggenheim. Neither of us were familiar with the Richard Prince, the main artist showing, but I was pleasantly surprised and enjoyed his work immensely. His approach is simple, yet humorous and I really liked his style overall.Unfortunately, it was raining Friday, so we took our time in the museum and then made our way back to the apartment. We decided to catch a film at a small arthouse theatre, Sunshine Cinema, around the corner that was showing Into The Wild. The movie is based on the book by Jon Krakauer, who helped Sean Penn, the director, adapt it for the screen. Having read the book years ago, I had been anxiously awaiting it's release and was ecstatic to be able to see it at the Sunshine Cinema. The theatre fondly reminded me of the Hippodrome Theatre in Gainesville, Fl where friends and me have spent many evenings enjoying independent foreign films. The theatre was packed and we had to sit close to the screen, but it was great to see the story onscreen. There were some changes that I did not remember taking place in the book, but overall the story was well represented and I am happy it will be able to reach a larger audience.
Saturday was a lazy day. We headed out into the city and wandered around a bit and ordered food int hat evening. The food was so good in New York and it was surprising not that expensive. The portions are perfect and the prices are reasonable, especially after coming from Grenville, where food is so much more expensive than what I'm used to, the portions are not too large or too small and there are not many choices for someone who doesn't eat meat laden meals.
With Sunday being my last full day before heading back to NC, we decided to hit the thrift shops and see if we could find any good deals.... this of course after visiting Central Park. We walked form the east village, where the apartment is to the Southwestern corner of Central Park and then explored it's vastness. We later followed the outing with a few second hand/thrift shops. We took the train over over to Brooklyn, where we looked back toward Manhattan [pictured below], and later walked over to Greenwich Village and then looked across the Hudson River at New Jersey.
The trip back to North Carolina was not as enjoyable and interactions were at a minimum. I had my last hurrah with public transport as we made our way to the airport. After saying good-bye to Ben and savoring our hug, I made my way to the gate and patiently waited for the plane. Although the place arrived over an hour late, I was able to make my connecting flight and made it back to NC safe and sound. It was wonderful to be greeted by those copper eyes and fluffy butt. As I settled into bed, my own bed that I hadn't slept in for over a week, it's familiarness was comforting, but I yearned to be elsewhere.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
It's the classic story. Girl meet boy. Girl likes boy. Girl and boy date. Boy becomes distanced with work. Girl and boy decide to 'just be friends'. Typical story that happens to millions. Girl walks away with bruised feelings, but is thankful for the opportunity to get to know and meet someone she now cares for.
All well and good, right? Except when followed by the following typical story.... Girl wakes to phone ringing at 4:30 a.m. Boy's been shot. As her breath leaves her body, she can't believe what she's hearing... is this a sick joke? After feverishly ringing the hospital, which offers no information, she wonders if she should even go. Does he even want to see her? It's been a week since they 'talked' and though hours before 'the incident' they ran into eachother at an art show and interacted fine, she is unsure of her role. Where does she fit into the situation? She goes to the hospital anyway, "what do I have to loose?", she asks herself. After wondering around the hospital, trying to find information about the boy, she becomes more and more upset. As her feelings for him become stronger, she realized how much she cares for him.
The following tumultuous days were filled with overwhelming emotion about the boy while a conference deadline quickly approached. She miraculously was able to work through tears rising and falling from her eyes throughout the day as all she wanted to do was be with the boy and help him recover. In the short daily visits she was able to work into her schedule, the important conference became more of an inconvenient obligation. After a mere five days in the hospital, the boy was sent home, two and a half hours away. Happy for the boys quick recovery, but sad to not be able to see him, she rings him to see how his recovery is going. She hears back from him a few days later.
He is thankful for her visits to the hospital, is planning on returning to school in a week. She will be out of town at that time and the conversation ends with the boy saying he'll ring her later on. Filled with unexpressed emotions, the girl leaves for her conference, which is followed by a short holiday, all the while distracted by thoughts of the boy. In places new to her, she is reminded of him and wakes up from a dream about him... all the while trying to move beyond her feelings and what has occurred.
After returning from her trip and not having heard from the boy, the girl is informed he is dating someone. How quickly one is able to move on... especially when he did not want to be in a "relationship" with anyone, or so he told her. The untruthfulness of what has occurred hurts and angers the girl, allowing her to walk away, yet question why she let herself be disrespected.
All well and good, right? Except when followed by the following typical story.... Girl wakes to phone ringing at 4:30 a.m. Boy's been shot. As her breath leaves her body, she can't believe what she's hearing... is this a sick joke? After feverishly ringing the hospital, which offers no information, she wonders if she should even go. Does he even want to see her? It's been a week since they 'talked' and though hours before 'the incident' they ran into eachother at an art show and interacted fine, she is unsure of her role. Where does she fit into the situation? She goes to the hospital anyway, "what do I have to loose?", she asks herself. After wondering around the hospital, trying to find information about the boy, she becomes more and more upset. As her feelings for him become stronger, she realized how much she cares for him.
The following tumultuous days were filled with overwhelming emotion about the boy while a conference deadline quickly approached. She miraculously was able to work through tears rising and falling from her eyes throughout the day as all she wanted to do was be with the boy and help him recover. In the short daily visits she was able to work into her schedule, the important conference became more of an inconvenient obligation. After a mere five days in the hospital, the boy was sent home, two and a half hours away. Happy for the boys quick recovery, but sad to not be able to see him, she rings him to see how his recovery is going. She hears back from him a few days later.
He is thankful for her visits to the hospital, is planning on returning to school in a week. She will be out of town at that time and the conversation ends with the boy saying he'll ring her later on. Filled with unexpressed emotions, the girl leaves for her conference, which is followed by a short holiday, all the while distracted by thoughts of the boy. In places new to her, she is reminded of him and wakes up from a dream about him... all the while trying to move beyond her feelings and what has occurred.
After returning from her trip and not having heard from the boy, the girl is informed he is dating someone. How quickly one is able to move on... especially when he did not want to be in a "relationship" with anyone, or so he told her. The untruthfulness of what has occurred hurts and angers the girl, allowing her to walk away, yet question why she let herself be disrespected.
Why is one who is so conscious of hurting others so susceptible to being hurt?
Monday, October 08, 2007
He speaks....
Yesterday, I went to see David Sedaris speak in Norfolk, Virginia. Surprisingly, even though he spent a large portion of his childhood in North Carolina, the closest venue to hear the comical short story writer speak was two and a half hours away. So, a friend and I decided to make a day of it and satiate our unrelenting yearnings to get out of Greenville and visit someplace different. Having only spent a brief time in Virginia, consisting of the short drive throughs on my way to another state, I thought it would be enjoyable to see what coastal Virgina has to offer. At 8 a.m. Sunday morning we hitched our bikes to the back of my friends little white sedan and headed north through a series of long curvy country roads. Upon arrival, and with no real plan, we did what college student does when first arriving in a new place... found a quaint little coffee shop and settled into the events of the day.
After hours of riding around the city, a tour around a gigantic sailing boat in the process of sailing around the world from Argentina, and a visit to Virginia Beach, we were entertained by Sedaris' reading of some of his essays. With four books in print, we were unsure what the content of his readings would be. However, after listening to some new essays and the reading of one from his books, we left the theatre with sore stomach and tear eyed, laughing so hard we cried. We grabbed a super scrumptious veggie patty sub from subway, not available in good ole Greenville, and settled back into the little white sedan. As the odometer turned over 200,000 miles, we headed south bracing ourselves for the Monday that lied in wait for us in good ole Greenville.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
In need of a break from the monotonousness of work, I decided to treat myself to a movie, albeit a matinee to lessen the impact on my wallet. So, I left work a bit early to head over to the cinema to see Feast of Love. Yes, a girlie flick if there ever was one, but with my recent strike out while up at bat at the game of dating I thought I could use it.... and I am very happy I went. One of the main messages that rang in my ears after the film ended was the concept of being with someone that cares for you as much as you care for them. As with my recent escapade this is an imbalanced component that seems to thrive in my relationships, romantic and otherwise.
Being aware and open to other's and their feelings is something that comes easily to me, and being one that likes to please others, this gift is highly utilized. However, I've painfully found that others do not commonly posses such perception and the result has been a continuous string of painful circumstances. So, what am I going to do now?
I don't know.
It seems the only thing left to do is wake up yet again tomorrow and make my way through the day, cherishing the fleeting often not present interactions with others. I mean it boils down to this, I want to be loved, like every other conscious living thing in the universe. This does not necessarily mean I want a lover or a partner, truthfully, what I miss the most are the close friends I once had. Now there is so much hurt clouding everything, suffocating simple conversations, to the point where I don't know how to or if I want to try.
I wonder, if like Chloe in the movie, I would have gone through with certain relationships, had I known their demise. At this point, questioning the benefit of it all, I can't say that I would have forged ahead.
Being aware and open to other's and their feelings is something that comes easily to me, and being one that likes to please others, this gift is highly utilized. However, I've painfully found that others do not commonly posses such perception and the result has been a continuous string of painful circumstances. So, what am I going to do now?
I don't know.
It seems the only thing left to do is wake up yet again tomorrow and make my way through the day, cherishing the fleeting often not present interactions with others. I mean it boils down to this, I want to be loved, like every other conscious living thing in the universe. This does not necessarily mean I want a lover or a partner, truthfully, what I miss the most are the close friends I once had. Now there is so much hurt clouding everything, suffocating simple conversations, to the point where I don't know how to or if I want to try.
I wonder, if like Chloe in the movie, I would have gone through with certain relationships, had I known their demise. At this point, questioning the benefit of it all, I can't say that I would have forged ahead.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Beaches and barrier islands
Returning from a camping trip on Ocracoke Island, the withdrawls set in. It is a barrier island off the coast of North Carolina that is only assessable by boat with a small village on the southern end leaving the northern portion uninhabited. Ocracoke was ranked America's #1 beach on Dr. Beach's yearly top ten. The village seems primarily survive from tourist, which reminded me of St. Augustine... making it even harder to leave on Sunday. It was so nice to be on the beach, feel the sun on my skin, and look out onto the water. I can't explain it, but it just feels so right when I'm on the beach. The trip made me realize that when looking for where to go after leaving NC in the spring, I need to focus my nrg on the coast. In being away from the beach and making it work elsewhere, I forget the simple nurturing that I find when being near the ocean.
Monday, September 24, 2007
The ocean is a powerful thing and every time I am near it, there is a humbling, contentment that washes over me and I know that everything will be ok. It is not that the ocean makes things ok in my life, it simply fills me up and in doing so, I am more able to endure life's little surprises and move more fluidly through turbulent times.
Living away from the coast, I become conditioned to what in essence is moving against the grain. Exerting endless amounts of energy to make things happen or to create what I think will make me happy, for the meantime, when all I need to to do is go to the beach for an afternoon.
Reflective times like these make me wonder why I have kept myself away from that which brings to much enjoyment and feels like an essential part of my life. Even more so, it makes me question why I am not looking to incorporate it into my future plans. I keep telling myself that I can be happy if I don't live near the beach, while all the time thinking I will return to it eventually, knowing it is where I belong... it is place I am the happiest.
Why then does it feel so far out of reach?
Living away from the coast, I become conditioned to what in essence is moving against the grain. Exerting endless amounts of energy to make things happen or to create what I think will make me happy, for the meantime, when all I need to to do is go to the beach for an afternoon.
Reflective times like these make me wonder why I have kept myself away from that which brings to much enjoyment and feels like an essential part of my life. Even more so, it makes me question why I am not looking to incorporate it into my future plans. I keep telling myself that I can be happy if I don't live near the beach, while all the time thinking I will return to it eventually, knowing it is where I belong... it is place I am the happiest.
Why then does it feel so far out of reach?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Another year has come and gone and I am one year older. Although I am still uneasy with the thought of growing old, my birthday was very pleasant. Unlike the majority of the population, the thought of growing old is frightening. Death I do not blink an eye at and often welcome, but the thought of growing old is one I do not think I will ever accept.
After years of dreading and ignoring my birthday, I welcomed this one with a big hug. Excitedly, I started the day, like a small child entrusted with a secret that only a few or perceptive people knew. It was not a secret, but it was one the little things, many would not acknowledge.
The day was pleasant, full of birthday wishes, cake, and a few thoughtful gifts. Although the day did not end as I may have hoped for, it was pleasant and fulfilling. To top it all off, I'm joining a few others this weekend on Ocracoke Island for a camping trip. It id the perfect way to end my birthday celebrations.
After years of dreading and ignoring my birthday, I welcomed this one with a big hug. Excitedly, I started the day, like a small child entrusted with a secret that only a few or perceptive people knew. It was not a secret, but it was one the little things, many would not acknowledge.
The day was pleasant, full of birthday wishes, cake, and a few thoughtful gifts. Although the day did not end as I may have hoped for, it was pleasant and fulfilling. To top it all off, I'm joining a few others this weekend on Ocracoke Island for a camping trip. It id the perfect way to end my birthday celebrations.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Waiting
She sits and waits... she has become a lady in waiting. Physically still, it goes unnoticed to others while internally, her mind races. She has been waiting for so long; sometimes she forgets what she's waiting for. Her thoughts lead her away, backward to the past and projected into the future. All the while the present has turned into the past and she missed it, like so many things in life, like her childhood. A time inaccessible as though it never happened, thrown into taking care of herself at a young age. Yes, it is a sad story, but pity is not what she seeks; it is understanding... and so she waits.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Going to Kentucky.....
What a motley crewMe, Matthew [the groom], Ari [ the bride], Kat, Molly, Brian, and Reanna infront.
With mid August came a road trip to Kentucky. A few of the Geology folk loaded into a sedan and headed northwest through the mountains and into the "Bluegrass State." Unfortunately, no bluegrass was heard, but we did hop over the Ohio River and visit the Cincinnati Zoo, enjoy a relaxing evening in downtown Covington, attend a baseball game, [my first!], witness a beautiful wedding in the cathedral basilica, and partake of the celebration of Ari and Matthew's union [with the aid of an open liquor, beer, and wine bar]. Then, we were back on the road, Greenville bound. Leaving too soon.... but it always seem that way when returning to Greenville.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
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