good friends are a treasure

a lOvElY vIsIt

What is it about the company of friends that's so uplifting? Is it because one feels as though they are cared for or simply the rejuvenation of interacting with others? This topic is quite interesting to me. After having moved to Gainesville, 5 years ago, I have not had the pleasure of meeting very many friends. For whatever reason, this did not occur. Yet, when I go to St. Augustine to visit already existing friends, it seems like I end up meeting someone new. This has bothered me, for the past 5 years. I finally washed my hands of it and gave up trying to understand why this occurred. However, due to the events of this past weekend, I started thinking about it again.

During weekends when I stay in Gainesville, the days usually consist of me feeling trapped and often like I'm chasing my tail, going round and round in circles and never getting anywhere. The only positive feeling I seem to have is on Sunday evening when I think 'just get thru this night and then the work week starts'. Yet at the same time, this is an awful feeling.

This past weekend, I had a real treat... friends came over to visit. This does not normally happen unless I am seeing someone and I cannot go see them. What was really nice was when we were out casually talking and enjoying a beer. I realized, this does not normally happen here, in Gainesville, for me. I felt like I should be in St. Augustine.

Regardless to say, I had a very nice time and hope it will happen again. In a sense, it's wonderful to have friends that are located in other towns, states, or countries but at the same time it's a bit saddening... because you don't get to enjoy that time with them and be a presence in their lives and visa versa. Yet, that is how life is and like our friends, it is something we have to accept, just as it is.

wOoHoO!

ok, ok, ok.....

So, I finally bought it. What is this mysterious item of which I speak? Guess.... no, guess again.... ok, I'll tell you. I bought [....drum roll.....] Garden State, on DVD. I was going to wait a bit, since I had returned to higher bills than expected, but I couldn't do it. I got to watch it again at Danielle's.

It's amazing how one's current situation and position in life affects their perception. I have really enjoyed watching this movie each time, not just because I like the movie and think Zach Braff did a great job, but because it seems as though each time, it's different. Perhaps that is because my life has been going through so many fluctuations in the past year.

Anyway, it was good watch and I look forward to many more viewings. So, if you would like to watch it, just let me know. There are also a couple really good movies coming out. F.Y.I. Richard Linklater is making a movie in the same format as Waking Life [I forget what it's called]. The movie is named, A Scanner Darkly, and it's based on the story written by the guy who also wrote Bladerunner. Additionally, Richard Kelly, who wrote and directed Donnie Darko, has written and is directing another film called Southland Tales, which I have mentioned before.

rEaLiTy

Chemistry

my heart is on my sleeve my head is in the sand

i said how did we end up here? you said happenstance

but i didn't understand so i made other plans

i ran to the ocean washed the blood off of my hands

i washed away my tears washed away ten years

washed away the empty space in-between my ears

and you said all that i mean is that you and me

didn't meet because of fate but rather probability

and you said the truth's like corn and lies are like weeds

you said the schroedinger equation collapsed perfectly

and i said mercy me be patient please

'cause i don't know a goddam thing about the birds and the bees

i just know what i'm like and i'm like what i see

even though it's hard to see because you just blinded me

and if there's one thing i learned in chemistry

it's that the gain of electrons is reduction, obviously

but you can't see electrons without machines

and you can't tell from my inflection if i'm being mean

and i don't know if i can take you seriously

sometimes elections depend on the absentees

and my family and my friends

and all the little kids that love me make me strong

and no matter how this ends

i know i'll never ever ever be alone

some day i'll be an old lady

with a big dress and an apron

a babushka and bare feet

i'll be out in my garden

on my hands and knees

and i'll be singing a song

that is really sad and sweet

mommy and daddy your baby is grown

and the smell of the cold, wet dirt reminds me home

a song written by Kimya Dawson

oh yeah.....this man knows what he's talking about!

eXcEss wInE

Left to right: Erik, me, and Richard at Sterling Vineyard

Here's the happy trio Our last vineyard. Behind us is a beautiful view. This one was nice because we took a gondola up to the Vineyard. The ride was beautiful and then there was a walking tour and...you guessed it.... tasting more wine. This all for the cost of $10. I thought it was worth it. Erik likes this place so much he bought 3 bottles. We returned back to our car and rainy weather and headed off to find something to eat. All that wine and no food was getting to me.

We stopped at this restaurant called Mustards. The food was absolutely fantastic. Erik and I could not take it all in. We wanted to try everything on the menu. It was so good. I could have eaten all night. Erik and I ordered two appetizers. Then, I had a salad and a desert with a coffee. It was heavenly! If you go to Nappa Valley it is a must, but you better call ahead and make a reservation. We were lucky b/c a few seats at the bar opened up and we ate there, otherwise the wait would have been a few hours. After this extraordinary meal, we headed home to Erik's with a belly full of wine and good food. We were happy campers.

.

cOppOlA vInEyArd

This is one of my favorite pix from the whole trip. This was taken at the Coppola Vineyard. It was a beautiful old building with a nice courtyard and fountain out front. There was a man there with a white american pit bull mix. It looked very similar to one of the dogs we had when I was younger. I was missing Karza so much, I had to ask him if I could pet her. She was very sweet.

The wine is made in wooden or metal barrels. However, many prefer those aged in wooden over metal. The building was old stone with as shown in the pix with a beautifulstairway when you walk in the front doors. off the left and right sides, before going upstairs are a series of rooms. This is one of the rooms.

nAppA vAllEy

After getting back from Santa Barbara we decided to take advantage of a short break in the weather and headed to wine country. Though I'm not a big wine drinker, i was ready to see some of the countryside and enjoy the ride. We headed over the Golden Gate bridge, away from the rain over the hills and into the valley. There were rows of grape vines on both sides of the road with many vineyards to choose from. Our first stop,brought us to this vineyard, which offered free wine tasting. We toured the gift shop area, picking up some great tasting treats and headed to the counter to enjoy our samplings of wine. The bitter reds and dry whites are not much interest to me, however, rose wines were not in high demand. So, I would try a sip or two and then hand the remaining portion over to Erik, who greatly enjoys wine. The shot below was taken by Erik and his true passion shows through.

mOrE On thE cAstlE

The last part of the tour, we visited a beautiful pool made of beautiful tiles. It was so bright and colourful. But before getting on the bus, I had to take a pix of this view. I thought is was breathtaking. The surrounding area of the castle was so beautiful, I don't think I would have spent much time in the castle, itself. Though there was a theatre, where Hearst showed a film every night and each guest was required to attend. Hearst would fly in various people, including many of the famous holywood names. There was also a billiard room, two pools, and inside running water.

dEtAIl

For some reason, I really liked this detailed portion of an outside banister. Like the majority of the castle, it was one of the various eclectic artworks making up the facade and surrounding area. Hearst liked art but not one particular type or theme. There were replicas of ancient egyptian statues not far from a white marble statue resembling David.

ElAbOrAtE cAstlE

So, Richard and I headed south and along the way, it began to rain. Not a big deal for us, coming from Florida, except this rain did not stop. It rained for the remainder of our stay in California. We stopped along the way at various vista points to check out the view. One time, we stopped but the wind was so strong, Richard could not even open his car door. So we moved on dow Route 1. It was beautiful! Racing downa winding road on jagged 90 degree cliffs kissing the Pacific ocean what seems like miles below.

We arrived in Santa Baraba that evening and it was still raining. We settled down and eventually crashed. It was nice to visit Stu. He showed us around Santa Barbara the next day, unfortunately, it was still raining.... limiting our ventures. I had wanted to visit the college there, UCSB, which Stu attends for Marine Science. I have applied to thier Geology program and wanted to check it out. We briefly visited a few areas of campus. It was nice.... right on the beach. It would be wonderful to attend grad school at a campus located on the coast.

The next day, Richard and I took advantage of a brief break in the rain and headed north. Due to all the rain, a landslide had closed a portion of the coastal road, which was the route we were going to take so, we took another road into the mountains. It was very beautiful. On the way back to San Francisco we stopped at a place called Hearst Castle. It was built by a man named Hearst, who apparently was a bit of a nature lover and valued the trees on the estate. Some of the pictures from the Castle and surrounding are are below....

sAd wRiNkLeD fAcE

Finally, arriving in San Francisco on December 24th, a day later than expected, the sun was full force and so were we...out and exploring the coast, driving down to Half Moon Bay. Along the way, we stopped and took advantage of a beautiful spot with a small beach and intricately eroded cliffs. Breathtaking is how I would describe the west coast of California because it took my breath away every time I saw it. The mountains were gorgeous and the abrupt coastal cliffed edge was mesmerizing. I will post more pix soon, but now it is time for sleep....... z..z...z..z...

eXplOrAtIOn

After arriving in California, finally. I found it to be georgeous, at least the coastal area... or I should say the undeveloped areas. The city was nice, as cities are. There is a good public transport system and you can walk pretty much wherever you need to go, except when it's raining. I mention this because this is what I dealt with majority of time I was there.

After traveling down the coast a bit, Richard and I caught a ride into town with Erik, on his way to work. We explored the Embarcadero area and walked down to Pier 39, the warf area. That's where the x-mas tree was. There were also sea lions hanging out on wooden flats on the water.
Christmas day was a lazy day of maying around and I was able to catch up on my rest. Then we went for our Christmas dinner, which of course was a chinese dinner, the only type of restaurant open on December 25th in the U.S.A., not that it's a christian country or anything... just ask our president.

Fisherman's Warf Tree

a contemplative study

this was my shot...damnit!

IncOmIng nEws.......

Well. For those of you who are interested in Garden State, one of the best movies made in 2004, it's being released on DVD on December 28th. I'm very excited! I restrained myself from only seeing the film in the theatres twice.... though I would have liked to have gone more.... I wanted to save my pennies, so that I would be able to purchase the film once it was released. You can pre-order the DVD @ http://www2.foxstore.com/detail.html?item=1341 Though I have not pre-ordered it, I do intend on buying a copy once I return, funds permitting.

Additionally, if you enjoyed the film and don't know about it, Zach Braff has a blog, which he updates regularly. You can check it out at http://gardenstate.typepad.com/ He's very talented and I look forward to what he is going to produce. There seem to be a handful of new young artists in film.....

Richard Kelly, the writer and director of Donnie Darko, is finishing a film called Southland Tales, which he wrote and directed as well. I look forward to seeing the new film, as I enjoyed Donnie Darko.... though there are some things I'm sure I have yet to comprehend. I am quite impressed with the film, considering Richard Kelly is only only 29 years of age... and hasn't done a lot of films..... can' wait for what's to come.

Another movie out on DVD is Napoleon Dynamite. I have not yet seen this highly talked about comedy, but look forward to renting it soon. Supposedly, it is quite hilarious and enjoyed by it's watchers many times over. So, if you are in the mood for a good laugh, check it out... and let me know what you think.

mY nAmE Is sAm

For anyone who loves animals, please read the story below... and those who don't care, you should!
-------------------------------

After I was discharged from the Navy, Jim and I moved back to Detroit to use our GI bill benefits to get some schooling. Jim was going for a degree in Electronics and I, after much debating, decided to get mine in Computer Science.

One of the classes that was a requirement was Speech. Like many people, I had no fondness for getting up in front of people for any reason, let alone to be the center of attention as I stuttered my way through some unfamiliar subject. But I couldn't get out of the requirement, and so I found myself in my last semester before graduation with Speech as one of my classes. On the first day of class our professor explained to us that he was going to leave the subject matter of our talks up to us, but he was going to provide the motivation of the speech. We would be responsible for six speeches, each with a different motivation. For instance our first speech's purpose was to inform. He advised us to pick subjects that we were interested in and knowledgeable about. I decided to center my six speeches around animals, especially dogs.

For my first speech to inform, I talked about the equestrian art of dressage. For my speech to demonstrate, I brought my German Shepherd, Bodger, to class and demonstrated obedience commands. Finally the semester was almost over and I had but one more speech to give. This speech was to take the place of a written final exam and was to count for fifty per cent of our grade. The speeches motivation was to persuade.

After agonizing over a subject matter, and keeping with my animal theme, I decided on the topic of spaying and neutering pets. My goal was to try to persuade my classmates to neuter their pets. So I started researching the topic. There was plenty of material, articles that told of the millions of dogs and cats that were euthanized every year, of supposedly beloved pets that were turned in to various animal control facilities for the lamest of reasons, or worse, dropped off far from home, bewildered and scared. Death was usually a blessing.

The final speech was looming closer, but I felt well prepared. My notes were full of facts and statistics that I felt sure would motivate even the most naive of pet owners to succumb to my plea.

A couple of days before our speeches were due, I had the bright idea of going to the local branch of the Humane Society and borrowing a puppy to use as a sort of a visual aid. I called the Humane Society and explained what I wanted. They were very happy to accommodate me. I made arrangements to pick up a puppy the day before my speech.

The day before my speech, I went to pick up the puppy. I was feeling very confident. I could quote all the statistics and numbers without ever looking at my notes. The puppy, I felt, would add the final emotional touch.

When I arrived at the Humane Society I was met by a young guy named Ron. He explained that he was the public relations person for the Humane Society. He was very excited about my speech and asked if I would like a tour of the facilities before I picked up the puppy. I enthusiastically agreed. We started out in the reception area, which was the general public's initial encounter with the Humane Society.

The lobby was full, mostly with people dropping off various animals that they no longer wanted. Ron explained to me that this branch of the Humane Society took in about fifty animals a day and adopted out only about twenty.

As we stood there I heard snatches of conversation: "I can't keep him, he digs holes in my garden." "They are such cute puppies, I know you will have no trouble finding homes for them." "She is wild, I can't control her."

I heard one of Humane Society's volunteer explain to the lady with the litter of puppies that the Society was filled with puppies and that these puppies, being black, would immediately be put to sleep. Black puppies, she explained, had little chance of being adopted. The woman who brought the puppies in just shrugged, "I can't help it," she whined. "They are getting too big. I don't have room for them." We left the reception area. Ron led me into the staging area where all the incoming animals were evaluated for adoptability. Over half never even made it to the adoption center.
There were just too many. Not only were people bringing in their own animals, but strays were also dropped off. By law the Humane Society had to hold a stray for three days. If the animal was not claimed by then, it was euthanized, since there was no background information on the animal. There were already too many animals that had a known history eagerly provided by their soon to be ex-owners. As we went through the different areas, I felt more and more depressed. No amount of statistics, could take the place of seeing the reality of what this throwaway attitude did to the living, breathing animal. It was overwhelming. Finally Ron stopped in front of a closed door. "That's it," he said, "except for this."

I read the sign on the door. "Euthanasia Area." "Do you want to see one?" he asked. Before I could decline, he interjected, "You really should. You can't tell the whole story unless you experience the end." I reluctantly agreed. "Good." He said, "I already cleared it and Peggy is expecting you." He knocked firmly on the door. A middle-aged woman in a white lab coat opened it immediately. "Here's the girl I was telling you about," Ron explained. Peggy looked me over. "Well, I'll leave you here with Peggy and meet you in the reception area in about fifteen minutes. I'll have the puppy ready." With that Ron departed, leaving me standing in front of the stern-looking Peggy. Peggy motioned me in. As I walked into the room, I gave an audible gasp. The room was small and spartan. There were a couple of cages on the wall and a cabinet with syringes and vials of a clear liquid. In the middle of the room was an examining table with a rubber mat on top. There were two doors other than the one I had entered. Both were closed. One said to incinerator room, and the other had no sign, but I could hear various animals' noises coming from behind the closed door. In the back of the room, near the door that was marked incinerator were the objects that caused my distress: two wheelbarrows, filled with the bodies of dead kittens and puppies. I stared in horror. Nothing had prepared me for this. I felt my legs grow weak and my breathing become rapid and shallow. I wanted to run from that room, screaming. Peggy seemed not to notice my state of shock. She started talking about the euthanasia process, but I wasn't hearing her. I could not tear my gaze away from the wheelbarrows and those dozens of pathetic little bodies.

Finally, Peggy seemed to notice that I was not paying attention to her. "Are you listening?" she asked irritably. "I'm only going to go through this once." I tore my gaze from the back of the room and looked at her. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out, so I nodded. She told me that behind the unmarked door were the animals that were scheduled for euthanasia that day. She picked up a chart that was hanging from the wall. "One fifty-three is next," she said as she looked at the chart. "I'll go get him." She laid down the chart on the examining table and started for the unmarked door. Before she got to the door she stopped and turned around. "You aren't going
to get hysterical, are you?" she asked, "Because that will only upset the animals." I shook my head. I had not said a word since I walked into that room. I still felt unsure if I would be able to without breaking down into tears. As Peggy opened the unmarked door I peered into the room beyond. It was a small room, but the walls were lined and stacked with cages. It looked like they were all occupied. Peggy opened the door of one of the lower cages and removed the occupant. From what I could see it looked like a medium-sized dog. She attached a leash and ushered the dog into the room in which I stood.

As Peggy brought the dog into the room I could see that the dog was no more than a puppy, maybe five or six months old. The pup looked to be a cross between a Lab and a German shepherd. He was mostly black, with a small amount of tan above his eyes and on his feet. He was very excited and bouncing up and down, trying to sniff everything in this new environment. Peggy lifted the pup onto the table. She had a card in her hand, which she laid on the table next to me. I read the card. It said that number one fifty-three was a mixed Shepherd, six months old. He was surrendered two days ago by a family. Reason of surrender was given as "jumps on children." At the bottom was a note that said "Name: Sam."

Peggy was quick and efficient, from lots of practice, I guessed. She lay one fifty-three down on his side and tied a rubber tourniquet around his front leg. She turned to fill the syringe from the vial of clear liquid.

All this time I was standing at the head of the table. I could see the moment that one fifty-three went from a curious puppy to a terrified puppy. He did not like being held down and he started to struggle. It was then that I finally found my voice. I bent over the struggling puppy and whispered, "Sam. Your name is Sam." At the sound of his name Sam quit struggling. He wagged his tail tentatively and his soft pink tongue darted out and licked my hand. And that is how he spent his last moment. I watched his eyes fade from hopefulness to nothingness. It was over very quickly. I had never even seen Peggy give the lethal shot. The tears could not be contained any longer. I kept my head down
so as not to embarrass myself in front of the stoic Peggy. My tears fell onto the still body on the table. "Now you know," Peggy said softly. Then she turned away. "Ron will be waiting for you."

I left the room. Although it seemed like it had been hours, only fifteen minutes had gone by since Ron had left me at the door. I made my way back to the reception area. True to his word, Ron had the puppy all ready to go. After giving me some instructions about what to feed the puppy, he handed the carrying cage over to me and wished me good luck on my speech. That night I went home and spent many hours playing with the orphan puppy. I went to bed that night but I could not sleep. After a while I got up and looked at my speech notes with their numbers and statistics. Without a second thought, I tore them up and threw them away. I went back to bed. Sometime during the night I finally fell asleep.

The next morning I arrived at my Speech class with Puppy Doe. When my turn came, I held the puppy in my arms, I took a deep breath, and I told the class about the life and death of Sam. When I finished my speech I became aware that I was crying. I apologized to the class and took my seat. After class the teacher handed out a critique with our grades. I got an "A." His comments said "Very moving and persuasive."

Two days later, on the last day of class, one of my classmates came up to me. She was an older lady that I had never spoken to in class. She stopped me on our way out of the classroom. "I want you to know that I adopted the puppy you brought to class," she said.

"His name is Sam."

by Chris Benton

Please Spay or Neuter your pet. Don't let pet cats wander outside. It may seem cruel to some people to keep them inside, but it is too dangerous for their health and just adds to the cat population problems.

"Don't breed what you don't need" - don't buy animals from pet stores or breeders - there are plenty of wonderful animals in shelters and rescues in need of good homes.

Don't give up your animals for stupid reasons - once you adopt them, they are your responsibility. Have the compassion to provide the animal with a good, loving home for as long as you possibly can.

Treat your animals with the same care and understanding that you would want others to show you. They deserve it.

thIngs yOU mAy hAvE wAntEd tO knOw bUt wErE tOO AfrAId tO Ask: pArt 3

This is it folks.........

am I?
[x]ugly. depends
[x]pretty. depends
[x]ok. depends
[x]bored. never
[x]happy. I try to be
[ ]bilingual. I wish I could speak spanish fluently
[x]white. pretty much, except these d*mn freckles
[ ]Black
[]Mexican.
[ ]short.
[ ]medium.
[x]tall. depends on who I'm standing next to
[x]grounded. I used to be all the time, now it's become more of a challenge
[x]sick. in what way? why? what have you heard?
[x]lazy. I don't think so, but I guess sometimes
[ ]talking to someone. do the voices in my head count?
[x]IMing someone. yeah, snicker snicker
[ ]scared to die. no, I can't wait
[x]sleepy. uh huh
[ ]annoyed. not at the moment, check back in 5 minutes
[ ]on the phone.
[ ]in your room.
[x]drinking something. yum... coffee
[x]eating something. in a few minutes
[ ]in your pjs. nope at work
[x]ticklish. yeah
[x]listening to music. always
[ ]homophobic.

Well, below is my friend Michael Sico. For some reason, I could not post any text with the pix.... I dunno. Anyway, back to Michael. Michael currently lives in New Jersey but hopes to move to the city soon (NYC for those of you who do not know which city I am refering to). He is a very sweet, romantic, young gentlemen who graduated from the University of Florida with a Bachelor's Degree in Business. Though he would like to open a clothing or retail business someday, he is currently teaching our challenged youth and is also dabling with purchasing and selling real estate. Micheal is very close to his family, especially his mother and sister. When he is not working or in the gym, Michael spends his free time volunteering for various organizations and traveling. Though he is braving the cold weather now, Michael loves the warm south and hopes to be joining us down here soon. If you would like to get in touch with Michael, leave a comment.... he always likes to meet new people, especially beautiful females (pst.... he has a weakness for blondes).