Thinking back, looking forward, and being thankful

As the Thanksgiving holiday has been approaching, my thoughts return to this time a year ago. The joy that filled my life seems so tangible, yet so distant. There were many things I was thankful for; the future was wide open and I was full of optimism. Now, a year later, my life and future seem completely different. The goals and aspirations I held a year ago have wavered, yet the direction, speed, and optimism seem different... as though they are or were another's life. I am happy and joyous, though for different things, it seems. There are a few things that have remain consistent, like the joy and gratitude of wonderful friends and community. Yesterday and today I had the opportunity to share in the preparation and consumption of wonderfully scrumptious and tasty food. Although I seem to congregate with fellow foodies who take their cooking seriously with a large helping of flavorful fun, today's meal was special, just as each of the wonderful gatherings we create are. I will greatly miss these wonderful fun filled food gatherings and hope to create and partake of such events during the next chapter of my life.

On to more important things... what did we eat? Like last year, there were a few vegetarians [some more strict than others] and gluten and dairy free diet restrictions. However, none of the dietary restrictions were an issue [one of the wonderful reasons I love cooking such great people!]. Our Txgiving meal was composed of a variety of dishes, including some new recipes. The afternoon was started with a tasty glass of bourbon slush, which was kept full through most the evening. It is a wonderful treat and a Txgiving tradition I acquired from some good friends. The drink mixture is prepared at least a day in advance and frozen, then topped w/ ginger ale or the equivalent. It has become one of my favorite parts of the holiday! This year, there was an oven roasted chicken, marinated bear grilled and then basted w/ a secret special sauce, parsnip rice with carmalized butternut squash, macaroni & cheese, broccoli and cauliflower casserole, stuffed acorn squash, savory spinach salad w/ homemade balsamic vinegar dressing, gluten free cornbread, and for dessert.... chocolate sweet potato torte. Even though I am still stuffed, just thinking about it makes my mouth water.

Perceptions of projection

Recently faced w/ the daunting task of moving and leaving the place I've called home for the past 3+ years has made me see things differently. It is no surprise, yet I am surprised. The positive things appear more positive and the negative things appear more negative. It's odd how knowing that I soon will not reside somewhere does that. Guess it just demonstrates how everything is a matter of perception and how we, as human beings, create the connotation projected onto things, situations, and people. All this time everything has been exactly what it is and will be once I no longer live here.

Four more weeks of work and then.... moving, the winter holidays, and on to start a new job and a life elsewhere. However, tonight was all about good food and friendship. A tastiliscious tapas style dinner at Aqua, followed by delectable dessert at Front Street Grill, not to mention the wonderful company, made the evening! Nights like tonight are what I will miss.

Inspired

A young girl approaches. She is tall for her age, thin, w/ blonde ringlets flowing onto her shoulders. She has bright blue eyes, clear and open, unjaded by the bitterness of what is to come. She is me, many years ago, so long ago I cannot remember what it is like to be her. She approaches and asks, ‘why? why did you leave?’, and looks up at me expectantly. I look down at her, and knowing what is to come, I want to wrap my arms around her and hold her, shielding her and also wanting to be her, so young and innocent. She asks again quizzically, ‘why?’ I do not have an answer. I search my mind, an empty caverness, but nothing. I look deep into her eyes and tell her, ‘I don’t know.’ Her eyes drop in sadness and she looks down toward the ground. I bow down to meet her gaze and ask her, ‘what is like to be lifted, to be held, to be loved?’ She looks up, meeting my eyes and smiles wide. ‘It is wonderful!’, she proclaims, pulling her arms out wide and lifting her chest to the sky as she twirls around. She twirls in circles as the sun brightens and I begin to loose her shape. Then, the sun begins to dim and the landscape comes into focus. I realize I am alone again and a light wind gently kisses my skin. ‘No, I am not alone’, I tell myself. She is with me... and I see her smile everywhere.